By ourselves

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Today while reading Chapter 4 in 1 Corinthians I came across the following verse:

7 ... And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?

It made me ponder over some of my own actions. Specially when I am in cribbing mode I tend to put myself on a higher pedestal. A lot of my thoughts then have me at the focal point. I start listing in my mind what are all the good things "I" have done and am continually doing, laying all the credit on my own shoulders.

The above verse served to remind me that this is wrong on my part. Irrespective of my mood I shouldn't forget that whatever I have is really by His grace:


From the certificates that I got in school to the exams I passed. 
From the home I live in to the world that I have explored. 
From the progress at work to the fun I have daily.
From the fellowship of my friends to my wonderful family.
From the mental toughness when needed to the softness of my heart. 
From the spirit that stirs me to the words that then pour out.
From the patience to go on to the strengthening of my belief. 
From the love of my life to the kindnesses I receive.


I feel most of the time our ambitions are driven by our desire for achieving success, fame, and fortune or for proving others wrong and showing what mettle we have. Perhaps that is why (as was pointed out in this Sunday's sermon by our pastor) we are habituated to find what we need by looking inside when we should be looking up to God. I am realizing that we need to humble ourselves whether hail or sunshine. It is important we recognize to Whom the praise is really due.

Do not be judgemental

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It was quite a while back that I saw the Hindi movie English Vinglish but I still clearly recall being moved by the speech that Shashi (Sridevi) makes at the wedding in the end. She tells in her sweet demeanour the newly married couple to not be judgemental of each other. I feel this piece of advice is to be followed by every one of us, not only in our relationships but also in the way we simply see the people in our vicinity when we travel, drive to the market or go for a jog.

John chapter 7, verse 24 says that we should "not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgement." Unfortunately this rarely happens. We are prone to jump to conclusions based on our predetermined mindsets formulated through the news we hear or on beliefs passed down generations. Imtiaz Ali's Hindi film Cocktail for instance is most clichéd in its characterization. The girl who parties, drinks, is in and out of relationships and has uncaring parents is named Veronica. While the girl who is shy, prays, and cooks and cleans is named Meera.

A sad case in point is of Brown University's student Sunil Tripathi who went missing about a month back. When the yet to be identified hazy photos of the recent Boston Marathon bombers were released by the authorities, somebody's comment on how Sunil bore a likeness to one of the pictures led to a chain of posts on a website discussing whether he could be one of them. Many others got on to the bandwagon and some believing him to be guilty even went on to hurl abuses on the facebook page that Sunil's parents had created in a bid to reach out to him. Eventually the truth came out but in that short span much pain and anguish was caused to the family. Worse was to come when some days later Sunil's body was recovered and he was found dead. I wonder what made it so easy for these accusers to pronounce their verdict and what are their thoughts now.

In the New Testament there is a story of how once a crowd had gathered around a sinful woman to throw stones at her as a punishment. When Jesus saw this He asked that the person who has never committed a sin should be the first one to throw the stone. But as there was nobody sinless, soon the woman was left alone. Even today it is no different. We might be "not bad" but that does not mean we are without a single blemish.

The Bible tells very clearly what happens when we judge others and how we really have no right to do so. The following words in Mathew, chapter 7 guide us in this regard:

1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 
2 For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 
4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

My first teaching experience

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I decided a long time back I wanted to be in research. But a big question has been that given a choice where would I like to pursue it - in industry or academics? Though the second option has always seemed more attractive in many respects, it has also appeared daunting primarily due to my inexperience at teaching and the high expectations that I hold from those who teach.

Having carried out my Ph.D. at a national research laboratory in India,  as opposed to a university, I was not required to do any teaching assistantship. During my postdoctoral research at Uppsala University, Sweden too it was a similar situation. However, before my tenure ended I managed to take a month long Teacher's Training Course (TTC) which turned out to be particularly useful for a newbie like me.

Quite early on we had a practical session in which every participant was video recorded for a couple of minutes while giving a talk designed for teaching a class. At the end the videos were shown to us and constructive criticisms were meted out by the group and our instructor. Mostly the comments were positive and everybody thought that I engaged the audience and communicated well which surprised them as I am not the most talkative person. I too noticed this comfort level through the video which to a small extent dispelled my fears.

As a final assignment each participant got to be mentored by a professor in their department. One of the suggestions I was given was to somehow get myself involved in teaching by for instance, self-designing and giving a short course. So after I joined Brown University I proposed to give a series of Electronic Structure Theory lectures in our group. With my supervisor's approval a special time and day was reserved for these classes.

I remember reading on FemaleScienceProfessor that the initial years of teaching are not easy. It takes a while to get the flow, guess what questions students might ask, identify your strengths and weaknesses, and hone yourself. Indeed moments before I was to teach the first time I was a bit jittery. But as days progressed I felt relaxed. I gave seven lectures in total. A couple of them didn't go as distinctly well as I had wanted to. When that would happen I would try to make up for it in the next lecture and go over the points that I felt I hadn't conveyed properly enough. As our group is a mix of undergrads, grads and postdocs with differing backgrounds in engineering and chemistry there was never a lecture when I wasn't asked a question. I took this positively as a sign that they were being attentive and taking the lecture series seriously.

To be honest, I did put in a lot of effort. The classes that were given using the blackboard were backed up by providing lecture notes. On other occasions I gave presentations and sent them out only after the lecture was over. Being Electronic Structure Theory this needed typing numerous equations and checking that all notations were consistent. I am sure that this will hold me in good stead in the future. It could definitely be a decent starting point for a longer course.

This entire process gave me an idea of what it would really be like to teach. It has instilled in me a certain confidence that I lacked earlier. I also realised how rewarding it could be when one of the undergrads said that he felt inspired to take a quantum mechanics course in the next semester at the university. :)

Who's bad?

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Has there ever been a time we have read the news and not come out shaking our heads wondering at all the terrible things happening around us? It doesn't need much to feel rage against corrupt ministers, terrorists, rapists, murderers, and cheats and for us to ask loudly "how could they?". In comparison we believe ourselves to be not that bad and deserving of a clean chit. The sermon I heard on Sunday, however, set the record straight.

I had written in my last post that in God's eyes our sins have more weight than our good acts. Adding to that, based on what I understood, what we might not give credence to could actually be of grave importance in His book.

For instance,

Stinginess. Not having a heart big enough to share or help. 
Anger. Venting out in frustration, calling someone names and saying hurtful things.
Lying. Not being courageous enough to accept your mistakes.
Unforgiving. Keeping grudges and being unwilling to make peace.
Gluttony. Acquiring more and more.
Lusting. Looking where your eyes shouldn't venture.
Pride. Believing that you can achieve everything on your own and not through God.
Grumbling. Complaining about the deficiencies in your life: food, money, house, riches...

The way the world has become we have begun believing that it is alright to look out for your own self alone, to shout at your juniors or be rude to them to get work done, to throw people under the bus (figuratively) to get ahead at work, to take revenge on anyone who has been mean to you, to flaunt it if you've got it, to watch porn, to be flowing with self-confidence, and to point out if something is lacking. These acts are so commonplace that we sometimes don't even think twice before doing them. As long as we are not committing a heinous crime we feel worthy of a place in heaven. We forget that the decision regarding our suitableness is not in our hands. It is written in the Bible that on the day of judgement,


36 "every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof..." (Matthew, chapter 12)

and that

17 "there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open." (Luke, chapter 8)


The above words do not leave much room for us to even wriggle ourselves in through the gate. Surely we need to contemplate over the way we go about carrying out our daily duties and question our goodness quotient. It is time we searched ourselves and identified the bad therein.

Good over bad

I guess most of us have encountered people who have been extremely nice to us a number of times but have also caused hurt on a few rare occasions. However, have you ever felt the latter overpower the former in your mind so much so that it becomes difficult to look at this person with the same affection you had before? Recently I have been unable to put aside the bad parts and focus on the good in some instances, which disturbed me.

Much to my surprise I found during church service our pastor give a sermon along those very lines. From what he said it turns out that God is no different from me in this matter. In His eyes too our good deeds are lighter than our evil ones. So that if the world's greatest philanthropist or missionary was to put all his hundreds or thousands of acts of kindnesses on one side of a balance, they would still weigh much less that the few sins he committed kept on the other side.

In the film Gandhi there is a scene (see video here) in which when a Hindu man confesses to have killed an innocent Muslim child during the India-Pakistan partition riots in revenge for the Muslims killing his son, Bapu tells him that as a way out of hell he should adopt a Muslim orphan as his own son but raise him as a Muslim and not a Hindu. However, I have come to learn we can't escape the consequences of our actions by such a "making up" scheme. You can't play dirty tricks and keep worshipping God simultaneously in the hope that He will  not punish you for those very devious acts.

Indeed it takes a lot to gain another's love and respect, but little to lose it. In the mathematics of life, both the transcendental one here on earth and the eternal one to come, the pluses don't simply cancel out the minuses. 


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Barfi! - how to be in a relationship

Barfi! is a Hindi film that released in 2012. Directed by Anurag Basu, it is the story of a deaf and mute boy, played by Ranbir Kapoor, who because of his speech difficulties ends up introducing himself as Barfi (an Indian sweet) instead of his actual name Murphy. The film for most part is in flashback with different people recalling their encounters with Barfi. This narrative unfolds the series of events leading to the loving relationship that he develops with an autistic girl, Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra).

Something that I remembered long after watching the movie was the manner in which Barfi tried to test whether those he loved would leave him. He would cut the wooden pole of a street lamp, then stand a fair certain distance in front of it hand in hand with the person in question, and wait for the lamp to fall in their direction. Only Barfi knew that it was just the right amount of distance so that nobody would get hurt, but close enough to scare. To his great disappointment he found his friend and his first love Shruti leave his hand and move away on seeing the pole beginning to tilt. Later in the film when Jhilmil starts becoming an important part of his life, Barfi repeats the act with her to find that she does not even flinch and remains staunchly by his side.

In life it is when we are going through a rough patch that we need a show of support the most. If on one side the above scene tells us about what kind of person we should go for in a relationship, then on the other it exemplifies through the character of Jhilmil how we should ourselves strive to be. 

Giving a loving embrace, kind words of encouragement and a hand kept on hand might not do anything to change a difficult situation but it could help the person to carry forth longer. Instead of playing the blame game, every effort should be made to show the pride you have in them to boost their confidence. Read between the lines and the unsaid words. Keep aside your own worries and look instead through their eyes. 

If there is ever a time that calls for you to express your love then it is not Valentine's day, but when the going is bad.  

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Jab Tak Hai Jaan - what's the deal?

For those who don't know Yash Chopra is an Indian film maker legendary for bringing heart tugging romances on celluloid. He passed away in October 2012 just weeks before his directorial venture titled Jab Tak Hai Jaan was slated to release. The audiences were already looking forward to the movie as he had taken over the reigns after a gap of eight years. His sudden demise increased the curiosity factor even more. People wanted to see how he had wielded his magic this last time round.

I finally got to watch Jab Tak Hai Jaan yesterday. I found that in true blue Yash Chopra style the film's story was a love triangle, its protagonists were genuinely good people, the two heroines were presented beautifully and the film was shot in some picturesque locations. In this post I am not going to review Jab Tak Hai Jaan more than this but write about one of its leading characters Meera played by actress Katrina Kaif.

Whenever Meera wants something in her life she prays to Jesus Christ and in return gives up something she likes. For instance, when she asks for a boy to not want her hand in marriage she decides on never wearing fur coats if it so happens. Her philosophy is that you will get as much as you will give. She tells the hero Samar (Shahrukh Khan) that if everyone keeps asking from God without giving back then how will He have enough good to divide amongst His people. According to Meera to get something you have to lose something.

I could not help but disagree with a large part of Meera's thinking. To begin with you do not make deals with God when praying. He does not answer our prayers because we have promised to be good in return but because we already are living our lives according to His will. In the Bible the book of 1 John in chapter 3 verse 22 says:

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

It is then of course right to be giving like Meera does by helping the needy. However, such acts can only be meaningful when done from the heart and not out of fear or external force or desire for a reward in return. Further, we should not consider the giving back as a loss. After all whatever we have has come from Him.

In the case that we still make a bargain with the Lord then we should stick with our end of it even if He doesn't as a sign of our belief in Him. In the film Meera always receives what she asks for. Its never shown or mentioned that she gives up those things precious to her inspite of her prayers being unanswered. In fact as the story progresses and she ends up having to forgo her love as a promise to God for saving his life, disillusioned she stops her practice which had worked until then in her favour.

I feel instead of making such "deals" we should simply ask with faith. We should put all our worries to Him and have confidence that He will hear us. Most importantly we should approach Him with a repentant heart and thanksgiving. Apart from asking for forgiveness we should also forgive those who have hurt us. We should not remember God only when things go bad. We should daily praise Him for all that He has given us undeserving as we are with all our faults.


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Image (top) source: http://yashrajfilms.com