Satyamev Jayate (8): Rupaiyya… song

Babul pyaare, sajan, sakha re

Sun o meri maiyya

Bojh nahi main kisi ke sar ka

Na majhdhar mein naiyya

Patwaar banoongi, lehron se ladoongi

Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiyya!

Ho… Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiyya!

Kal baba ki ungli ko thaame chali thi

Kal baba ki laathi bhi ban jaaongi

Amma tere gharonde ki chidiya hoon main

Daana lekar hi waapas ghar aaoongi

Jiski fitrat mein hairat samaayi nahi

Jisko daulat se jyaada main bhaayi nahi

Aise saajan ki mujhko zaroorat nahi

Na kehne ka sunlo mahurat yahi

Akeli chaloongi, kismet se miloongi

Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiyya!

Ho… Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiyya!

Dil se dil ke taar toh jude nahi

Toh rasmon main daulat yeh kaahe bahe?

Hum toh pyar ki khwaish mein rishte bune

Toh rishton mein laalach hum kaahe sahe?

Kya shaadi ke aage zindagi hi nahi?

Jo shaadi hisaabon ki keval hai bahi

Aisi shaadi ki mujhko zaroot nah

Na kehne ka sunlo mahurat yahi

Subah si khiloongi, ratiya si bharoongi

Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiyya!

Ho… Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiyya!

The above song Rupaiyya… was played live at the end of Episode 3 of Satyamev Jayate, which tackled the issue of dowry in Indian weddings. This song has been composed by Ram Sampath, written by Swanand Kirkire and sung by Sona Mohapatra. The lyrics translate like this…

Dear father, my beloved, my friend

Hear oh my mother

A burden I am not on anyone's head

Neither is my boat in the stream's mid

A rudder I will become, the waves will I confront

How can money sell me!

How can money sell me!

Yesterday holding my father's finger I had walked

Tomorrow I will become his walking stick

Mother, I am your nest's bird

When returning home, food I will surely bring

In who's nature baffling us did not fit 

Who did not like me more than wealth

Of such a lover I have no need

To say "no" this is the appointed time, pay heed

Walk I will as a loner, my destiny will I encounter

How can money sell me!

How can money sell me!

The heart to heart strings never did connect

Then for customs why is this wealth being spent?

In the desire of love, relations we knit

Then in relations why greed should we accept?

Beyond marriage is there no life?

A marriage which by keeping accounts only drifts

Of such a marriage I have no need

To say "no" this is the appointed time, pay heed

Like morning I will bloom, like night will I loom

How can money sell me!

How can money sell me!

Satyamev Jayate (7): Episode 3 Big Fat Indian Wedding

I know I am lagging way behind in my writings on Satyamev Jayate considering the progress that it has made by completing three seasons. But I guess it is never too late to talk about something important. So instead of giving up, I am choosing to continuing to go on.

Theme of the episode
In this episode the audience was specially comprised of men and women considered to be of marriageable age. Calling weddings as the national passion of India, host Aamir Khan involved the youngsters by asking them about their wedding plans. If a boy wants to arrive at the venue in a helicopter, then a girl knows for sure what she will wear during her marriage ceremony and later at her reception. But not all such dream weddings lead to happy endings.

Stories
We are first told of Komal, a resident of Delhi, whose marriage was fixed by her parents. While everything was nice in the beginning, as the date of the wedding approached the boys family started demanding dowry, which her parents agreed to give. On the day of the wedding itself while Komal was on the stage and the guests had arrived they asked for gold chain as a gift. After the marriage the demands escalated to funding her husband's trip to US and furniture for the home there. In US Komal was mistreated, assaulted, and deprived of her basic rights of even food when she refused to ask her parents to transfer the deeds of their home in her husband's name. Finally her husband locked her in their home without food to eat, water to drink and electricity to keep warm from the snow outside. In desperation she called a women's shelter who then covered her medical expenses and helped her to call her parents. In hindsight Komal's parents have realised that they should never have met any of the demands made by the boy and his family.

       Nishana, well educated with a Ph.D., was a lecturer in a college in Madurai. Though married into a well-off family, nearly 820 g of gold and one lakh rupees in cash had to be given as part of the dowry. After the wedding a demand for a car was made. Later the in-laws and her husband started finding fault in her appearance and forced her to undergo plastic surgery. All this affected her negatively and pushed her to commit suicide.

        Paramjeet Kaur's marriage was arranged in Punjab to a boy who was about to leave for Australia for his studies. In this process her parents were made to pay for his fees and tickets. Though originally she was supposed to join him there, he eventually left her behind within a week of their wedding. At her in-laws house she was continually ill-treated and insulted, not given any freedom and asked to bring in more money. Then one fine day they threw her out of the house. At the time of the episode telecast it had been three years since her husband has not returned back. Instead through his uncle's intervention he was asking for divorce over the internet.

The cause
When a girl's parents agree to spend lavishly for the wedding and give dowry, they do so thinking it is for their daughter's happiness. They worry that if the marriage falls apart then the society will look down on them. The fancy trends followed by the rich seep into the lives of the poor too, who also go beyond their means and take loans to to meet the needs of the rituals and celebrations.

The effect
In the episode the story of Santosh Kumar and Ruby Devi is also narrated. In order to circumvent the problem of paying dowry Ruby Devi's father kidnapped Santosh Kumar in whom he found a suitable groom and forced him into marrying his daughter. It is a surprise that despite such unusual circumstances their marriage turned out to be a success.

Turning it around
We are told that the group Tanzeem Khudaam E Millat has started the tradition of "no band, no baraat (groom's wedding procession), no dowry" during weddings. As part of the festivities only juice and water are served whether the involved families are rich or poor. Mr. Ummedi from the this group told that in Burhanpur which follows this model not one girl has been burnt in 60 years over the issue of dowry.

        Finally Rani Tripathi was invited on the stage and her bravado was brought into limelight. Like other girls whose story we heard in the episode, her wedding was fixed and similarly at the heels of the marriage the soon to be in-laws demanded a car. On hearing this she was angered and decided to not accept things lying down. Rani along with her brothers and parents did a sting operation on the in-laws. The recorded video shockingly caught the guilty party shouting with arrogance and demanding for car and money. Interestingly when this video was telecast on tv many people came out in support of her and men sought her for marriage for her gutsy nature, which is how she met her husband.

Action
Before winding the episode Aamir Khan asked the audience of their views after hearing everything. A sea change occurred in the thinking of the girl who at the start of the episode knew perfectly how her wedding would be. Very wisely she said that she'd come to the conclusion that she'd rather have a simple and lasting marriage over an elaborate wedding. She added that if the couple still wanted something fancy then they should do it from their own money and not of the parents'. Aamir Khan ended by saying that we should aim to prepare our children for their entire lives instead of being consumed by the desire to achieve one perfect day.

My comments
I have an indirect connection with this theme. I had a classmate in school, Amit Goyal. I remember him as a brilliant student, loved by the teachers, friends with everyone and yet without arrogance. Everybody knew he would become something in life. But that was not to be. One day when I was in Class 4th I reached my classroom room to learn that he had died. His mother who was being harassed for dowry could not take it any longer. She put her son to sleep and then set him and herself on fire. Neither survived.

I have lived a major portion of my life in Delhi. The weddings there were grand. On some occasions there would be week-long pre-wedding celebrations like sangeet (music and dance night) and mehndi (henna design). The food spread was always lavish. There would also be separate elaborate counters for chaat (all kinds of savouries), desserts and drinks. The clothes worn by the bride and groom were gorgeous. I have heard of occasions where parents have travelled to other cities like Jaipur and Lucknow to get specially designed dresses made. But the expenses however do not end with the marriage and reception. I have heard of traditions in which during the first year of marriage at each and every festival (holy, diwali, christmas, new year, etc) the girl's parents must give gifts to the boy and his family. One of my friends who was going to get married was excited at the prospect of shopping for an all new wardrobe as the custom is that the bride is not supposed to bring with her any of her old clothes.

One point where I felt this episode of Satyamev Jayate lacked was in discussing the history behind dowry. Questions like when did giving dowry become a part of weddings, why was it made a part in the first place and when did it change to becoming a matter of show should have been discussed. I am sure there are researchers who must have studied this.

The reason the system of dowry continues is that we have accepted it. In the hit movie 2 States released last year, Ananya (Alia Bhatt) is visiting her boyfriend Kirsh (Arjun Kapoor) in Delhi when they go to attend a wedding. Just before the rituals can begin the groom's parents demand a bigger car than they are being gifted. To arrange for the equivalent money all the relatives start chipping in, the women by giving their jewellery. Then Ananya decides to intervene and has a chat with the groom. She makes him realise how lucky he is to have found a lovely and smart wife who is better than him and so he should settle for the small car and get married. The groom finally finds his voice and does exactly that. In the movie Ananya is applauded for this act as she is able to save the day. But isn't this giving a wrong message? After all the groom still took the small car as a "gift". Don't you think Ananya should have instead talked to the bride and asked her to walk out? Could she guarantee that after the marriage this groom would manage to take a stand against his family in the secure confines of their home?

Rani Tripathi's sting operation video showed how the demands of the in-laws are sometimes not even made subtly, but with screaming. They feel that as they have invested a lot for their son (education, career, etc) who will now be taking care of his wife they deserve what they are asking for, that it is their right. The sons who either themselves want to benefit from this situation or are controlled by their parents, do not raise any opposition. Though it is in the presence of God that the vows are taken and the wedding ceremony is performed, such men and women definitely do not fear Him. Clearly their sight  is fixed on all that is worldly. But this not what the Lord wants us to go for. In Matthew Chapter 6, Jesus Christ tells us:

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things[a] shall be added to you.

[a] such as food, clothes, money, necessities of life, etc.

-------------------------------
(Image source: http://stjohns-dc.org/worship/baptisms/)

Gulaab Gang - violence begets violence

(Image source: official poster)

Gulaab Gang is one movie that I was very much looking forward to. Starring the once competitors Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla this was meant to be a clash of the titans. When its trailer first came out I had thought the film will be crackling. But sadly it was a great let down for me. 

Simply put the story is of Rajjo (Madhuri Dixit) who runs a group called Gulaab Gang which is ever ready to put the danda (or rod) to use. Enters Sumitra Devi (Juhi Chawala) as the vicious politician to add to their troubles. Both power wielding ladies are soon pitted against each other. Who wins - the good or the evil? forms the rest of the movie.  

Personally I felt that all the good dialogues were used up in the trailer. The songs and dance seemed ill placed and slowed the pace. I wish the story to have been more of a battle of wits than weapons. In my view the character of Sumitra devi dripped of vileness in every scene and expression from the get go which robbed the audience of any twists or surprises. On a different note it also made me ask some questions. For instance,

If those who use their positions for personal gain, do so as openly? While extreme in nature, Sumitra devi mirrors the reality. I was revisiting the first season of Satyamev Jayate - Episode 3 in which a video recorded as part of a sting operation carried out by a bride-to-be showed her prospective in-laws loudly shouting and unabashedly demanding dowry from her parents and brothers. 

Why is it that having a choice between the right and wrong and between heaven and hell some people would still go for the latter option in each case? I suppose knowing is one thing and believing another. 

If today the Lord was to speak from the heaven would it help? The book of Exodus is full of instances of His glory and power. Most of us are at least aware of the part where He saved His people from the Egyptian Pharaoh and his soldiers by parting the Red Sea. Through their journey He was with them - as a cloud during the day and as fire by night. But when Moses did not come down from the mountain for a long time, they turned to other gods. 

In the film some cases were shown in which Gulaab Gang went to the rescue of ill treated women. But not once were they successful in appealing to the reason of the perpetrators and always ended up resorting to various forms of violence - slapping, breaking bones, cutting ears, and even killing. The action packed climax ends with Sumitra devi's mighty hand being both literally and figuratively cut off and with Rajjo also getting jailed. It reiterated for me what Jesus Christ had said when stopping his disciple from coming to his defence against arrest:

"… for all who take the sword will perish by the sword." (Matthew, Chapter 26, verse 52)

A lot of young men and women these days are inclined to think that the solution to all corrupt and deplorable acts is to simply lynch the criminals and offenders. But that does not change wrong practices nor put an end to all kinds of deceit and lawlessness. Martin Luther King, Jr. had phrased it way better:

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy, instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder the hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." (Ref: Where do we go from here: chaos or community, 1967, pp 62-63)

Satyamev Jayate (6): Haule Haule… song

Bikhrey tootey tukde saare judh rahe hain


Dheere dheere, haule haule

Betuke se sur woh saare mil rahe hain


Dheere dheere, haule haule

Aainey ka dhundhlaa chehra khil raha hai


Dheere dheere, haule haule

Nanhisi ek jaan ne apna bachpan khoya

Khauff ki maili chadar odhke soya

Bebas, akela, bezubaan, chupchaap royaa


Barson se yeh behte aansoo tham rahe hain


Dheere dheere, haule haule


Khul rahi aankhen jo ab tak nam rahi hain


Dheere dheere, haule hauley

Aainey ka dhundhlaa chehra khil raha hai


Dheere dheere, haule hauley

Chura ke khud se aankhein main har pal jiya


Zahar jo usne ghola maine woh piya


Chuppi ke aadh mein chipkar usne jurm kiya


Zubaan par laga woh taala khul raha hai


Dheere dheere, haule haule

Meri nahi koi khata ye pataa chala hai


Dheere dheere, haule haule

Aainey ka dhundhlaa chehra khil raha hai


Dheere dheere, haule haule

Ram Sampath has both given music and lent his voice to the song Haule haule… which he performed at the end of Episode 2 of Satyamev Jayate. Svati Chakrvarty has penned the lyrics describing the pain and suffering and the long road to recovery of a child who has been sexually abused. Below I have tried to translate the above lyrics in English for those who do not understand Hindi.  

Scattered, broken pieces are all unifying

Gently gently, slowly slowly

Those meaningless notes are all intermixing

Gently gently, slowly slowly

The mirror's faint reflection is blossoming

Gently gently, slowly slowly

A little life has had its childhood lost

In a sheet dirtied with fear, covered he slept

Powerless, alone, voiceless, silently he wept

Since years these flowing tears, are ceasing

Gently gently, slowly slowly

Eyes that were moist till now, are clearing

Gently gently, slowly slowly

The mirror's faint reflection is blossoming

Gently gently, slowly slowly

Avoided I facing myself, every moment that I lived

The poison that he stirred in, it I sipped

Hiding behind a garb of silence, the crime he committed

The lock which was on the lips is unfastening

Gently gently, slowly slowly

That nothing is my fault, I am this realizing

Gently gently, slowly slowly

The mirror's faint reflection is blossoming

Gently gently, slowly slowly

Satyamev Jayate (5): Child sexual abuse

(Image source: http://www.glogster.com)

Following the heart tugging first episode on Female Foeticide of Satyamev Jayate (see all posts about the tv show here) I was awaiting what Aamir Khan and his team would have for us in the second one. Would it be as effective and eye opening?

Theme of the episode
The show started with Aamir Khan saying how special children are for their parents and how much protective the latter are for the former. He went on to share his own concerns and worries for his children. The audience comprising of young parents were asked to guess the percentage of children in India who are victims of child sexual abuse. Different people made estimates of which the maximum number was 10%. So when Aamir Khan revealed that according to the findings of a research carried out by the Women and Child Development Ministry in 2007 53% respondents (across different parts of India in both rural villages and urban cities) reported to have undergone child sexual abuse it left everyone shell shocked. In the light of this staggering information the question of how safe our children are was brought up.

The stories
To break myths such as (i) children are most safe at home, (ii) only girls are sexually abused and (iii) the effect of what happened in one's childhood does not affect the future, many victims came forward to open up about their stories.

         Cinderella Prakash told how when she was just 11 years old her mother was in the hospital. Taking advantage her being alone at home one of her parent's friend, a man old enough to be her grandfather, one day came home on a pretext and sexually abused her. Hearing her account of the extent of abuse and her feeling of disgust at her own self at that point, was deeply disturbing. From them on she would try to run away whenever this man would come to visit her parents. Cinderella further, revealed that it was just four years before that she actually told her parents of this incident. She urged those who have suffered or are suffering from child sexual abuse to break the silence and vent out.

        Harish Iyer a grown up man now, was raped multiple times by a relative when he was just 6 years old. The abuse continued until he became 18. In this long duration of pain and suffering there were two occasions when he tried to tell his mother. But both times he was too young to be able to express himself clearly. Even when his mother understood, on the show she regrettably admitted, that she did not know how to respond as it was a family member who was involved and kept silent on the matter and didn't take any action. Harish said that it was like he was trapped in a cycle and continued to give in as his uncle would threaten him, until one day he mustered all his courage and said a resounding NO to the man.

       Ganesh Nallari, a fashion designer, recounted how he was abused by his uncle from the age of 5 to 17 years. What happened in the past affected his future life so much so that that it was hard form him to form relationships. While breaking down he expressed that He held a grudge against God but that he was trying to forgive his abuser as only then he would feel free.

What is behind the silence?
Anuja Gupta, who runs an organisation called RAHI which provides counselling to victims of child sexual abuse, described what is really going through the child's mind: the victimised children, though  young, can gauge that something wrong is happening but think that no one will believe them and worse still instead of the abuser they even might be held responsible for the ghastly act. Anuja further opined that parents are ill prepared for such situations and so for the children in her own words "silence is a kind of self preservation". Further the silence could also be a part of the abuse due to the direct or indirect threats they may receive from the abuser.

          Anuja most importantly outlined the different steps parents must take when a child approaches them:

1. Believe in the child
2. Infuse confidence in him/her
3. Apologise for the abuse happening on their watch and
4. Take a step to put an end to it. 

Through the example of a case where a 2 year old girl was being abused by her grandfather, she illustrated how if the abuser is someone from within the family one could hold a meeting of all the relatives and openly confront the person in question so that the act is never repeated.

Unmasking the abuser
Dr. Rajat Sharma, a psycologist by profession, who has in his research talked to prisoners in jail on charges of child sexual abuse was asked to help identify who an abuser can be. He revealed that such people normally have no guilt, treat the child as an adult and believe that the kid enjoys the experience. In his view such culprits carefully mark their target and plan their actions. They normally have charming personalities and are able to win over the confidence of the children, parents and even neighbours. Though in India we give a grave significance to our children respecting the elders, he wisely expounded that we should rather tell the children to respect behaviour and not age.

Turning it around
On the bright side we were introduced to an agency called CHILDLINE India (click link) which is the world's largest children's helpline reachable by the number 1098. The service is available 24 hours a day and they come to the chid's aid within an hour.

At the time this episode was aired there was no stringent law against child sexual abuse in India. There were many loopholes where insertion of a body part into the mouth verses a vaginal penetration was not considered a criminal offence. Nishit Kumar of CHILDLINE narrated their long 10 year struggle, because of such gaps in the law, in bringing to justice two ex-naval British officers who on the pretext of running a shelter in Mumbai for homeless children forced them to perform obscene acts. He highlighted the great need of sensitivity by the police, medical staff and lawyers in treating the victimised children during the entire investigation process.

Action
At the end of the episode Aamir Khan conducted a short workshop (see video here) with a few kids in the age group of 5-10. He asked them if they knew what was danger and what did they identify safety with. He informed them about the three danger points in their body that no one should touch, not even a doctor in the absence of their parents. In a friendly way he made the children remember a set of three actions to carry out if someone touched them in those danger areas - (1) scream loudly, (2) run away and go to a safe place and (3) go to the person they trust most and tell them what has happened. He finally suggested that parents carry out this workshop with their kids once every six months.

My comments

Soon after the episode the Parliament of India passed the Protection of Children Against Sexual Offences Bill. So things seem to be looking up. As taken from Wikipedia:

"The new Act provides for a variety of offenses under which an accused can be punished. It recognizes forms of penetration other than peno-vaginal penetration and criminalizes acts of immodesty against children too. The legislators tried to draft a gender-neutral Act, but failed, using the pronoun 'he' in the description of various offenses. With respect to pornography, the Act criminalizes even watching or collection of pornographic content involving children. The Act makes abettment of child sexual abuse an offense. It also provides for various procedural reforms, making the tiring process of trial in India considerably easier for children. The Act has been criticized as its provisions seem to criminalize consensual sexual intercourse between two people below the age of 18."

While there may be others, the only film that I have seen to sensitively talk about child sexual abuse is Monsoon Wedding which released 13 years back in 2001. It rightly captured everything that this episode of Satyamev Jayate talked about:

• the abuser being a well respected family friend who has always helped them in their hour of need
• the young girl trying to push away the abuser 
• the long silence for years on part of victims
• the disbelief, laying the blame on the victim and initial non-response from family members when the truth comes out. 

Amidst the wedding festivities the father figure (Naseeruddin Shah) of the victim first feels helpless but finally confronts the abuser in front of all the family saying: "These are my children and I will protect them even from myself if I have to". This is the rule that all parents should adopt.

In India we are mostly close knit families and the worry of what people might say is often a great influence behind our inactions. However, in matters when a child's safety is at stake such paralysing thoughts should be quashed. It is important to realise that there are certain occasions where silence is definitely not golden.

Like Ganesh Nallari there must be many other victims angry at God, some may have even turned away from Him completely and others might have taken the wrong path. One of the victims interviewed, Nazneen said that to forget the pain that she suffered she took to drugs and alcohol. It is therefore, imperative that these innocent victims are given all the love, care and confidence that they need so that they learn to stop hating themselves and to distrusting everyone around them.

Sometimes those guilty to have broken beautiful spirits may go unpunished by our laws, but what Jesus Christ says is in store for them is quite frightening:

"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." (Mathew, Chapter 18, verse 6)

Satyamev Jayate (4): O ri chiraiya... song

O ri chiraiya, nanhi si chidiya

Angana mein phir aaja re

Andhiyara hai ghana

Aur lahu se sana

Kirno ke tinke, ambar se chun ke

Angana mein phir aaja re

Humne tujhpe hazaaron sitam hain kiye

Humne tujhpe jahaan bhar ke zulm kiye

Humne socha nahi, tu jo udh jaayegi

Ye zameen tere bin sooni reh jaayegi

Kiske dum pe sajega mera angana?

O ri chiraiya, meri chiraiya

Angana mein phir aaja re

Tere pankhon mein saare sitaare jadhu

Teri choonar dhanak satrangi bunu

Tere kaajal mein main, kaali raina bharu

Teri mehendi mein main, kachi dhoop malu

Tere naino sajaa doon naya sapna

O ri chiraiya, meri chiraiya

Angana mein phir aaja re...

The above song has been composed by Ram Sampath and written and sung by Swanand Kirkire. At the end of Episode 1 of Satyamev Jayate on female foeticide the two came on stage to perform it in front of the audience. Here I have translated the song in English and attempted to incorporate rhyming like in the Hindi version. In the lyrics chiraiya/chidiya or bird represents the girl child. So here goes...

O bird, little bird

To the courtyard return again

Darkness is deep

And with blood sullied

Twigs of sun rays, pick from the sky

To the courtyard return again

We have thousands of times caused you hurt

We have inflicted on you all injustices of the world

We never gave thought if you fly away

This earth without you will be left desolate

Who will then beautify my courtyard?

 

O bird, my bird

To the courtyard return again

Your wings I will, with all the stars decorate

Your stole with the seven coloured rainbow interlace

In your kohl I will, the black night pour

Your henna I will, with raw sunshine cover

In your eyes a new dream adorn

O bird, my bird

To the courtyard return again 

Satyamev Jayate (3): Episode 1 Daughters are Precious

(Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zitona/)

Like many I was eagerly looking forward to the telecast of the first episode of Satyamev Jayate on 6 May, 2012. However, being in Sweden meant that I would not be able to watch it the moment it premiered. Luckily an official channel on youtube and a site for the programme were launched so that I could at least see it the same day.

         The episode opened with Aamir Khan telling us viewers how his personal pride for our nation's progress is mingled with a sadness at the things that are severely lacking. He lets us know what Satyamev Jayate aims to do. Following this brief description we were taken into a studio filled with an audience.

Theme of the episode
Standing centre stage Aamir Khan as the host brought to our attention the special place we have for our mothers in our lives. The sacrifices she makes for our well being are not hidden from us. In India many are known to worship goddesses like Durga, Kaali and Saraswati whom they call Maa or mother. Despite this today mothers are being ill treated.

Stories
During the show we were introduced to Amisha Yagnik, Parveen Kaur and Mitu Khurana who each tell their awful stories.

        Amisha was made to undergo multiple abortions by her husband and in-laws whenever they found that she was carrying a female child in her womb. After some years of such struggle and much against their wishes when she did manage to deliver a baby girl, they took away the child from her to force her to give a divorce. Later with a lawyer's help Amisha got her daughter back and has since then been taking care of her.

        Parveen Kaur's husband wanted a son to carry forward his family name, but when that did not happen after a couple of attempts he one day assaulted her while she was sleeping. He bit her face and left it mutilated. The photos of the nose-less Parveen on a hospital bed silenced the audience.

        For those who were under the impression that such incidents happen only in villages or in poor and uneducated families, hearing Mitu Khurana's account was an eye opener. Mitu, a doctor married one from her profession. Her father-in-law was a professor of history, mother-in-law a vice principal of a school and of her two sister-in-laws one was a teacher and another a Ph.D. After an ultrasound revealed she was going to have twin girls they began torturing her to have an abortion. The effect was such that she was about to give up her life when her father came to her rescue and took her with him. However, after the two girls were prematurely born Mitu went back to live with her husband and in-laws only to find no help. Worse was to come when on the pretext of assisting Mitu, her mother-in-law pushed the cot carrying one of the babies down the stairs. Luckily the baby was securely tied and did not get hurt.

The cause
How female foeticide came to spread on such a large scale across the length and breadth of India was explained by Dr. Puneet Bedi, a consultant in obstetrics and gynaecology in New Delhi. He informed that in the 70s our country's problems were blamed on its large population. A scientific paper suggested that the population could be brought under control if the "unwanted girls" were selectively aborted as most families yearned to have a boy. A program was started in the government hospitals where women were encouraged to do so. The eventual easy availability of ultrasound to determine sex of the foetus and the large monetary returns abortions brought, turned it into a 2000-3000 crore (200-300 million) rupees business. Later as various organisations protested the program was stopped in the government hospitals, but it continued to thrive in the private sector.

In news
Next Aamir Khan talked with two Sahara Samay reporters Meena Sharma and Shripal Shaktawat from Jaipur who seven years back had carried out a sting operation which caught on camera 140 doctors from about 40 cities involved in the racket of killing the girl child. Video recordings of doctors promising that the girl will not be born alive and suggesting ways of covering up in case she is, like by throwing the baby in a river or burying it were shown. Yet with all the evidence none of them had been punished. Not only that all the cases (at the time of the episode) against the accused doctors were being considered separately and the hearings being held in different courts causing Meena and Shripal a lot of distress.

The effect
The episode highlighted that a direct effect of female foeticide is the large difference between the number of boys and girls. There are districts and towns with hordes of unmarried men which has led to more crimes such as buying and selling of girls, kidnappings and gang rapes. The women who are bought are treated badly at home and are not given any rights whatsoever. Sometimes they are forced to have sexual intercourse with all the unmarried men in the house.

Turning it around
During the episode Nawanshahr in Punjab was presented as a shining example of how a change can be brought about. The first issue that Mr. Krishnakumar took up when he joined as Deputy Commissioner of the district in 2005 was to correct the dwindling girls:boys sex ratio. To this end he held seminars and workshops for doctors and mid-wives, warning them of severe consequences lest they were found guilty. He got students and various institutes to join hands with him and organise rallies and street plays to raise awareness. A phone helpline was started to provide support to pregnant women and help them if they were being ill treated or forced to find the sex of her child. All these efforts led to a 71% increase in the sex ratio in 2011 compared to 2001.

Action
In the end of the episode Aamir Khan offered a simple solution to overcome the problem of female foeticide. He said that all of us as individuals come together to form a coherent strength. So all we need to do was to decide that from that moment onwards we will not be part of a society that kills the girl child and that we will not allow it at least within our families and friends.

My comments
For long daughters have been called paraaya dhan (not one's own money) in our country. The perception is that as she will eventually get married, the family she is born into is not her actual family. So it is the boy who takes forward the family name and when the parents grow old it is supposedly the son alone who can take care of them. Further, age old traditions of having to give a large dowry during a wedding and of only the son being able to perform the last rites in certain religions have led people to preferring a male heir.

Earlier we would often find stories in the newspapers of just born baby girls being dumped in the trash. But with medical technological advancements came the ease of sex determination and abortion. Though presently it is illegal in India to determine the sex of an unborn child, such practices still happen. As was told in the episode some doctors work in packages offering to find the sex of the foetus and aborting it if it is a girl.

Initially I was in shock when I heard Mitu Khurana's story as her husband and in-laws were highly educated. However, having given more thought to it since I saw the show I realised that education does not automatically give a person a conscience and nor does it stop him/her from sinning. After all aren't all the involved doctors educated? Isn't it the families with the means that offer a bribe and buy accomplices? A lot can happen and remain hidden behind the closed doors of palatial homes.

Sometimes we read or hear a lot about the wrongdoings taking place but do not register their significance. In this regard the sad and scary consequences of female foeticide were well brought out in the episode. Indeed it is definitely an issue that needs to be addressed. Clearly, its root lies in the negative mindsets of the society for a girl child. Perhaps that is why Aamir Khan's appeal for us to individually decide to put a stop to it within our personal circles makes perfect sense. Who else but us can better convince those around us? Let us not be afraid of or shy away from taking a stand.

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P.S.: For the O ri chiraiya... song that came at the end of the episode see my next post.

Satyamev Jayate (2): title song and changing in love

Continuing from where I left last time on Satyamev Jayate, I now shift your focus to its title song (see above video). From what I have read and heard, Aamir Khan's simple brief to lyricist Prasoon Joshi was to write a romantic love song for the country and he in turn did a wonderful job based on this minimum instruction.

The part of the song which made me introspect goes:

Jaisa bhi hoon apna mujhe, mujhe ye nahi hai bolna
Qaabil tere main ban sakoon, mujhe dwar aisa kholna

These lines imply:

Accept me as I am, I do not want to say
That I may become worthy of you, I want to find that way

One worry that we all have in any relationship is to be rejected for who we are. We want our friends and family to accept us with our package of the good and the bad. That is why when somebody is critical, often our instant reaction is to become defensive in order to prove ourselves right. We get upset at their trying to change us and refuse to comply to their needs.

This resistance is questioned by the above words of the song. After all when in love shouldn't we do everything to make this other person happy? Shouldn't we want ourselves to be befitting of him/her? If this entails filling out our flaws, smoothening our rough edges and altering our ways then shouldn't it be so? Shouldn't we be doing this gladly instead of grudgingly?

For once we should ask ourselves that isn't our loved one deserving of these efforts from our part.
 

Satyamev Jayate (1): the initial euphoria

Last year on 6 May, 2012 popular Indian film actor Aamir Khan made his debut on television with the show Satyamev Jayate (Truth only triumphs). Though it has been a long time since the season ended I still feel inclined to talk about it in a series of posts. For those unaware, each episode of Satyamev Jayate dealt with an important social issue plaguing India. However, some could even be happening in other parts of the world for you to identify with.

This particular post is about the events preceding the show's premiere.

Aamir Khan is known to do his films selectively. Most years we get to see him once a year on the big screen and some times not even that. The fact that he would be making an appearance for 13 weeks in a row was enough to excite fans like me. In relation to the show a specially composed love song for the country was released in movie theatres. The short teasers gave us a peek into the thought processes behind the programme's conception. The Hindi tag line "dil pe lagegi tabhi baat banegi" meaning when it hurts the heart only then will it resonate left everybody in no doubt that Satyamev Jayate wasn't going to be a regular fare.

When the unusual time slot of Sunday morning 11 o' clock was chosen to air the show, it created further debate. People's lifestyles have changed a lot in the last few years. With their busy schedules on weekdays, Sunday is the day to catch on sleep and go out for movies and shopping. In this scenario hoping that people would specially take time out for watching Satyamev Jayate in the manner we used to in the bygone era for serials like Mahabharat, Chanakya and Chandrakanta could be considered as being naive. In reality it was a well thought out and bold move.

In an interview that I saw on television Aamir Khan revealed his strategy. Choosing a non-prime time meant no competition. If everything went well there would be no flipping of channels. Secondly the viewers would not have to sacrifice any of their favorite soaps in order to hook to the new show. So he would get their undivided attention, a must for a show like this.

There was also some criticism that came his way when large sums were spent on promoting Satyamev Jayate on a wide scale. In the same interview Aamir Khan gave an interesting analogy in reply. He said marketing is like one wanting to tell an exciting story to a room full of partying people. You then create an atmosphere where everybody just has ears for you. For instance, you make the music stop, clap your hands to direct them towards you and then tell your story. Of course on the flip side your story may fall flat on its face if its not good enough. 

In addition varied attempts were made to see that the show reached audience across the length of the nation. So for the first time two television channels (Star TV and Doordarshan) buried their competition to simultaneously broadcast Satyamev Jayate. Being sensitive to the viewers' preferred language, as not everybody in India is fluent in or even knows Hindi, Satyamev Jayate was telecast in different Indian languages: Marathi, Bengali, Malayalam, Tamil and Telugu on the local Star TV channels.

What I came to appreciate most about Aamir Khan, even before I saw any episode of Satyamev Jayate, was his decision to not endorse any products during the period of those 13 weeks. From what I hear even now he is taking great care in choosing any advertising campaign. I have seen big names sell themselves too short, accepting everything coming their way. For instance, Amitabh Bachchan has endorsed a hair oil and Shahrukh Khan a fairness cream for men. So seeing Aamir Khan not try to make the most (earnings) of it was a revelation. He could have easily hosted a game show or a reality series which is what Star TV had approached him for. Instead he took up something that demanded a lot from him in terms of time, energy and resources. I feel just for that Aamir Khan deserves our respect and ovation.


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Image (top) adapted from www.satyamevjayate.in