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| Differences and commonalities in a relationship |
In the recently released Hindi movie Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani Bunny (Ranbir Kapoor) and Naina (Deepika Padukone) have very different dreams for their lives. While Bunny wants to explore the world, Naina is perfectly happy with being in one place and living the daily grind with her family. Some time in the second half of the film each is trying to convince the other about their respective preferences. Putting a stop to the competition Bunny says the following line,
"Tu right nahi hai Naina, bus mujhse alag hai."
meaning
"You are not right Naina, just different from me".
I remember towards the end of the very first day that my (then yet to be) husband and I met, he introduced me to a close friend of his. We were happy to tell her how the two of us liked many of the same things. She very sweetly and wisely expounded that while it is good to have similar thinking with your spouse, what is more important is how you handle your differences.
Any relationship brings together two separate entities who have been raised distinctively and have had their fair share of unique experiences leading them to form personal views and beliefs. So it is definite that there would come many a moment when in spite of their deep love the couple will have a conflict of opinions. The issue in contest may be a complicated one or something really small. How does one then avoid squabbles in such a scenario?
I had read in an article that instead of attempting to change the other person, try to alter yourself. Eating the food, watching a movie, and wearing clothes of your spouse's liking every once in a while could help increase the common ground. Ordinarily we all like to get our own way, but it is not so bad to give in either. Furthermore, it is most important to submit happily and not out of anger or with frustration.
For the more big topics, just like Bunny and Naina, one could simply respect the opposing party's contrasting thoughts instead of trying to out do each other.
Yes, it is easier to change yourself rather than try to change others. But what if your ambition is to change the world? How do you accomplish that?
ReplyDeleteThat is a very thought provoking question Daddy. Like they say, lead by example. I feel most people want to change for the better but they tend to hold themselves back thinking that the effect may be like a tiny ripple in an ocean.
DeleteIf someone's ambition is to change the world then mere words will not be enough. Coaxing or even presenting the truth might not help. What we can do is, make our personal lives a testimonial first to encourage others to do the same.