Trial and error (8): Paalak murg or Spinach chicken

Continuing with my effort to cheer myself up I tried this simple recipe of Paalak Murg (Spinach Chicken) gravy. Living abroad I have often found the lamb meat does not taste as nice as back home. As a result I mostly cook chicken or sometimes prawns. So I thought that I should try something new using chicken.

How I did it?
I have been following Mehan's Kitchen blog for some time now. Previously I have made broccoli cutlets using a recipe from the blog. This time I chose Chicken and Spinach Curry recipe there. The one minor addition that I made was using two diced tomatoes to make the gravy along with the onion. As I did not have garam masala, I substituted it with biryani masala.

Notes on cooking technique.
I have to admit that for once I did not come across any difficulties while cooking Paalak Murg. In the future too I don't see any reason to deviate from the methodology.

My verdict.
It was totally yummy and I enjoyed eating Paalak Murg with chapatis. Here are is a picture for you to see:

Paalak murg or Spinach chicken gravy

Trial and error (7): Broccoli quiche

Last week I was feeling a bit low. So I thought of changing things a bit over the weekend by trying out a couple of new and of course easy recipes. :) Yesterday evening I gave making Broccoli Quiche a try.

How I did it?
I followed the video for the above dish on allrecipes.com (see here). I used shredded cheddar cheese and a store bought readymade pie crust which made the cooking very simple. The other small difference was that instead of using broccoli heads as it is, I chopped them into smaller pieces.

Notes on cooking technique.
As the pie crust was not pre-baked in the oven before placing all the filling over it, the base remains soft. The next time I will probably try to make it crispy and brown by baking it first initially for 10 min with weights and then without them for another 15 min. I did set the oven to 350 F but after 20 min when I did not find the filling to solidify and set, I increased the temperature 400 F and baked for another 10 min.

My verdict.
I definitely enjoyed the end result. As the broccoli quiche was made for dinner time I served it with pasta. One could also have salad on the side as a more healthy option.

Here are the photos of my effort:

Home made broccoli quiche

Gulaab Gang - violence begets violence

(Image source: official poster)

Gulaab Gang is one movie that I was very much looking forward to. Starring the once competitors Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla this was meant to be a clash of the titans. When its trailer first came out I had thought the film will be crackling. But sadly it was a great let down for me. 

Simply put the story is of Rajjo (Madhuri Dixit) who runs a group called Gulaab Gang which is ever ready to put the danda (or rod) to use. Enters Sumitra Devi (Juhi Chawala) as the vicious politician to add to their troubles. Both power wielding ladies are soon pitted against each other. Who wins - the good or the evil? forms the rest of the movie.  

Personally I felt that all the good dialogues were used up in the trailer. The songs and dance seemed ill placed and slowed the pace. I wish the story to have been more of a battle of wits than weapons. In my view the character of Sumitra devi dripped of vileness in every scene and expression from the get go which robbed the audience of any twists or surprises. On a different note it also made me ask some questions. For instance,

If those who use their positions for personal gain, do so as openly? While extreme in nature, Sumitra devi mirrors the reality. I was revisiting the first season of Satyamev Jayate - Episode 3 in which a video recorded as part of a sting operation carried out by a bride-to-be showed her prospective in-laws loudly shouting and unabashedly demanding dowry from her parents and brothers. 

Why is it that having a choice between the right and wrong and between heaven and hell some people would still go for the latter option in each case? I suppose knowing is one thing and believing another. 

If today the Lord was to speak from the heaven would it help? The book of Exodus is full of instances of His glory and power. Most of us are at least aware of the part where He saved His people from the Egyptian Pharaoh and his soldiers by parting the Red Sea. Through their journey He was with them - as a cloud during the day and as fire by night. But when Moses did not come down from the mountain for a long time, they turned to other gods. 

In the film some cases were shown in which Gulaab Gang went to the rescue of ill treated women. But not once were they successful in appealing to the reason of the perpetrators and always ended up resorting to various forms of violence - slapping, breaking bones, cutting ears, and even killing. The action packed climax ends with Sumitra devi's mighty hand being both literally and figuratively cut off and with Rajjo also getting jailed. It reiterated for me what Jesus Christ had said when stopping his disciple from coming to his defence against arrest:

"… for all who take the sword will perish by the sword." (Matthew, Chapter 26, verse 52)

A lot of young men and women these days are inclined to think that the solution to all corrupt and deplorable acts is to simply lynch the criminals and offenders. But that does not change wrong practices nor put an end to all kinds of deceit and lawlessness. Martin Luther King, Jr. had phrased it way better:

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy, instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder the hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." (Ref: Where do we go from here: chaos or community, 1967, pp 62-63)

What goes into a great marriage - Part 2

(Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dark_ghetto28)

Continuing from where I left in Part 1 of this two post series, I am going to list out now the remaining five pointers for a great marriage.

(6) Show grace
What we receive from God is through His grace and not because of our good works. In a relationship we must extend the same grace to our partner. Living together spouses are likely to hurt each other on occasions. But it does no good to hold on to the anger. An advice my father-in-law gave to my husband and me was to end a fight before going to sleep at night and to not take it over to the next day. Be kind and forgiving in love. Do not keep pointing out your spouse's mistakes and don't get upset when they are unable to change the way you want them to. Realise that everyone's journey to God is different and that He works on each person in a unique way. Let your home be a place where your heart always wants to return however bad the day might have gone.

(7) Stay open
I have to admit that when I was in school and college I used to feel shy to speak up in class. Even now sometimes in parties or get-togethers I enjoy listening more. It is with those close to me that I love to talk. Not surprisingly a top priority for was me was to find a husband with whom I'll have a great comfort and vice versa so that neither would feel awkward in saying anything. In a marriage being able to communicate is so important. Couples must forge a bond of trust which allows them to share their stories with the confidence that they will not be made fun of. I think that specially when we are stressed we tend to keep our worries to ourselves in our desire to protect the other person. But such secrets only build up with time and make your heart heavy burdened. So whatever the difficulty don't shut your spouse out. Whether it is about a thought eating you or your love - openly express it.

(8) Plan romance
A few years into marriage a routine can set in a couple's life. Marketing for groceries, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc take up a lot of your time and focus. For those who have kids things are still busier. Taking them to school, helping them with home work and assignments, activity classes, sports practice sessions, their friends' birthday parties, … the list is endless. Along with that in India many married couples stay with parents and some even in joint families. Given this scenario it is much needed to take that special time out for each other. It is not about spending a lot of money but being together by yourselves.

(9) Be flexible
On my older blog I had once written a post (see here) inspired by Somerset Maugham's quote:

We are not the same person this year as the last; nor are those we love.
It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.

Indeed we as individuals evolve with time. You are affected by the happenings around the world, challenges you face, various experiences which you undergo, interesting people with their unusual outlooks whom you meet, and even by the vast knowledge that is now so easily available through the internet. A primary reason I started Write Around the Corner was because I felt different from the girl who used to write on My Scribbling Space. But it is not a happy chance that will keep us on track to loving a changed person while changing ourselves. It requires us to not be simply absorbed in ourselves but study our partner. Hear what he or she is saying and read between the lines. Don't always do things your way. Be considerate and be flexible enough to give in to your spouse's needs and wishes.

(10) Relax
I remember throughout my Ph.D. I used to be very serious when preparing for presentations. I would rehearse speaking so many times beforehand that on the actual event I would sound too practiced. But in the last one year I have learnt to relax more. I still go through my slides and make tweaks but I don't get worked up about it. I suppose it should be the same when it comes to our relationships. We shouldn't be obsessed about making everything perfect. The worst thing you could do to yourself is compare your life with others and give it a rating. Instead be calm and enjoy the journey. Make those changes which are needed but give them time to settle. Take up hobbies that you like and don't isolate yourselves. And when frustrated call upon God for help.

Unanswered prayers

(Image source: http://abureauphoto.deviantart.com)

I am sure it has happened to many of us when we've been praying for something incessantly but still found God not granting that to us. Does it mean He is not even listening to us? I don't think so. I am beginning to see that His not answering is an answer in itself- a resounding NO, which we are mostly not prepared and willing to accept.

Yesterday in the Bible study I go to, one of the girls said that she feels that the things that God is not giving to her are really her wants and not needs. However, even our needs He may not provide us at the time we think is right but when He knows its the most appropriate. Until then what you have on your hands is a seemingly endless wait in which you tend to battle with questions.

Questions about our future often plague us. You may even seem to be lost in the woods. As living creatures we are prone to be lead by what we can see, hear, or feel. We find it easier to base our belief on something tangible. It would take a lot to stop oneself from turning to a person who gives you the impression that he can "tell" you all. It is in exactly such blurriness that God wants us to hold on to our faith in Him. This requires us to trust in the Lord leaving aside our anxiousness and apprehensions. Such a conviction only comes when you love with all your heart, mind, and soul. Then we too will be able to say like King David:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
I fear no evil, 
For You are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
(Psalm, Chapter 23, verse 4)

So today let us pray that we may no longer be afraid of the unknown that is lying ahead.

What goes into a great marriage - Part 1

(Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/timdorr)

Last Sunday at our church service the sermon was on the ways to have a great marriage. In our pastor's words a marriage is like a garden which needs careful tending. He gave us ten practical instructions based on his 23 year old marriage. In this post I am going to talk about five of those points based on what I heard during the sermon with my own thoughts mixed in.

(1) Motive
In India they say if your children are married then they are settled. For some girls marriage means security. Others consider it to be their fairytale ending. Romantic movie dialogues give the impression that it is a way to complete oneself and a key to finding happiness. Our Pastor however, equated this to a form of idolatry as you are putting a person on an even higher pedestal than God. If you do feel that there is a part that is lacking in your life then you should look to God to satisfy it. What then you might question is the purpose of marriage. A Christian marriage is the coming together of two persons to serve and honour God and it is meant to be demonstrative of God's love for the world. Just as the vows that my husband and I took at the altar said, a marriage is a commitment

to love, comfort, honour, and keep (your spouse), for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, so long as both shall live.

Rightly so it should not be entered into lightly.

(2) Be thankful
Living together for years can bring in a sense of overfamiliarity. It is very easy to take the other person for granted. With time you are no longer shy or intimidated to say or do things as you were in the beginning of the relationship. After a while your focus may shift to noticing all that is wrong in your spouse. This can obviously build up resentment in your heart and cause you get angry. In such a scenario it is very important to remember to recognise the good qualities your spouse has, to acknowledge the efforts they put in daily, and to praise him/her for the support and comfort they give you. Our Pastor suggested writing your spouse a letter or saying a prayer specially for your husband/wife to remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Philippians, Chapter 4, verse 8 also tells us that we should meditate on

...whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise.

(3) Lean on God
Last year I had posted (see here) how we tend to wrongly believe that we can achieve anything by our own efforts alone. In a similar vein in a marriage when couples face difficulties they are inclined to resolving their issues by themselves. While we are (correctly) willing to use different resources available to us, such as articles on the internet, self help books and therapy to fix everything by ourselves, we are reluctant to ask God or may be we even forget that He is in the picture. I believe that if there is one being who will not judge us for our weakness but love us all the more, then that is God. So when the going gets tough follow what Proverbs, Chapter 3 says:

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

(4) Ask for help
A question that was raised in this week's Bible study was "Why do married couples find it difficult to ask for help?" Personally I feel after marriage your problems are no longer just your problems as there are two lives which are now intertwined. While social networking sites are great at connecting with friends, they also tend to give a false sense as if everybody else is having a wonderful life. How then are you supposed to feel comfortable reaching out? These days the one spot I am quite at ease is perhaps our church. I have come to realise that it is not just a place of worship, but also a safe haven where anyone can go to though broken spirited and tired with struggles and still be accepted. For some it is not shame but pride that comes in the way of taking help. Mostly we want to be independent and are wary of taking advice. In either case, not drawing upon somebody else's wisdom could prove detrimental in keeping a marriage. So if you are shying away from friends, talk to the elders in your family. Sometimes it is just a matter of understanding that the difficulties that you are going through are not unusual and can be overcome.

(5) Fight fair
For starters I don't think any marriage can be conflict-free. I have previously written a post (see here) on the fiery aftereffects of anger and how to douse them. Hurtful words indeed have a habit of lingering on long after they have been uttered and can be devastating to a marriage when they are added to a list which is being constantly renewed and reviewed. This makes it all the more necessary to hold oneself from saying anything that could be regrettable. Taking time out and getting away from the situation at hand could help you gain perspective on why you are fighting. Ask yourself if you are simply trying to win a point over your spouse. Our Pastor advised couples to not exaggerate during arguments and avoid beginning sentences with "you never" or "you always". Something that I will surely remember from the sermon is him telling that the most important words in a marriage are not "I love you" but "May be you are right". So be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. (James, Chapter 1, verse 19)