Anger management

I have always enjoyed watching mushy romantic Hindi movies. In so many of them the hero-heroine have a hate relationship to start with, which down the line gets transformed into undying love. Dialogues like "you only get angry with those who are dear to you" practically lead you to believe that fighting is a sign of love. This does hold not true for me at all. If anything then love should make you more understanding, patient and kind.

Disagreements and arguments stress you out and drain you. The cross words exchanged only cause hurt and get etched as memories hard to forget even years later by the two people involved in the altercation.

The reason fights sometimes snowball is because of both parties raising their voice in competition. If you are only interested in proving yourself right, how then will you be able to hear what the other person is trying to actually say?

The first verse in chapter 15 of the Proverbs in the Bible says:

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

When you keep your cool instead of immediately retaliating it gives you a chance to contemplate where the anger is really directed at. Is the infuriation at what you did wrong? Or is the ill-temper a front by the complainant for something gone awry elsewhere?

Controlling one's emotions is a tough act to carry out in such situations. What can perhaps help is the realisation that deep love really lies hidden behind those fights that didn’t happen because we didn’t let them happen.

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Image (top) adapted from http://www.velaction.com