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One of my close friends got married last month. Unfortunately our living in two different countries now made it impossible for me to be there on this auspicious occasion. Nevertheless sitting continents apart I asked myself whether she was feeling the same way as I did over three years ago.
Whatever the type of marriage it might be - arranged or love and however long or little the couple might have known each other, the bride-to-be feels a mixed bag of emotions. Intermingled with all the excitement that shopping and celebrations in the preceeding months bring, is a profound sadness clutching the girl at having to leave the place she calls home and the parents who have always been there for her. Along with great joy at having finally found the one and getting to start a life with him, she also worries about the newness of it all.
From the bride's perspective it appears that in comparison things are easier for the groom. After all he doesn’t have to pack his bags. As per Indian tradition there is no bidaai (a hindi word meaning farewell) for him. The bride enters his household. I thought so too until the marriage counselling session we had as per church rules with our Pastor a few days prior to our wedding. At the very outset he read out verses 22-24 from Chapter 2 of the book of Genesis in the Bible, which say:
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The last verse tells that in a marriage the man is also parting ways with his parents to be with his wife to give rise to a new family. This made me realize that the changes and adjustments would also be demanded from my husband. The responsibility of having an additional person to take care of, besides themselves, went to both the parties with this union.
Understanding that when getting married I alone would not be taking the journey, but had company, removed my resentment and reduced my anxieties.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Image (top) adapted from http://travelguide-hamptonroads.com
Understanding that when getting married I alone would not be taking the journey, but had company, removed my resentment and reduced my anxieties.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Image (top) adapted from http://travelguide-hamptonroads.com
At the outset, wish you a Happy 2013 ! Looking at the start of this blog itself, and knowing you to some extent, I am confident you are poised to convert this endeavour into something serious & long term. Well, good luck.
ReplyDeleteNow for the reason I have chosen this one to comment on, kind of attracted me - this post. Afterall, easier to relate to something that is hitherto the mystery of anyone's life - marriage. I have not read the Bible, however whatever little you've introduced me to the book, I can definitely see there is much more about life that I would be able to find in the book, than I had presumed. For now, I'm happy with lesson 22-24 :-)
-Hitesh
@ Hitesh: Thank you for your wishes and your comment. Indeed there is a lot in the Bible to learn from, which can alter your way of thinking and living.
ReplyDelete