Noah's ark

(Image source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/)

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

I came across this quote on somebody's Facebook page. For those who don't know that the building of the ark by "amateurs" is in reference to Noah's story in the Bible. The ark saved him and his family by the great flood brought on the earth by God. The above quote seems to give the impression that one day Noah decided to start a new hobby out of his own will and ending up successfully bringing it to fruition based on his efforts alone. To be honest I was saddened and upset to see this picture painted as it is far from the real one. 

If you were to read Chapters 6-9 from the book of Genesis in the Old Testament (click this link) then you would realise that Noah's story is one of strong faith in the Lord. The way it goes is that the earth had been brutally corrupted by the evildoings of men. The Lord was sorry and upset at His creation and decided to destroy it. However, He was very pleased with Noah's devotion. It was when Noah was 500 years old that God first spoke to him, asking him to build an ark as He was going to bring a great flood over the earth. 

Noah did not once doubt what he had heard and immediately set out to do as per God's will. However, it was not after the passing of one year or two years but a good 100 years the Lord actually opened the floodgates. Imagine the kind of opposition and difficulties that Noah and his family would have faced in this long period. People must have scoffed at them, perhaps called them names. Others would have surely questioned their belief and tried to tempt them to lead them astray. 

Though the Lord had given Noah the specifications for building the ark, the task itself would not have been easy for the sheer size of it. What can be said about the filling of the ark by each type of animal and bird! Clearly for that to happen the animals and birds would have had to come from different parts of the world. There is not a chance that Noah and his family could have managed this feat just by themselves.

The flood when it came lasted for forty days but the water stayed high for five months. It was in the tenth month that the mountain tops could be seen. For the earth to become dry another two months were needed. So when Noah and his family stepped out of the ark a full one year had passed. Those 365 days must have tested their patience and faith as well. But they survived it all not because they simply braved it on their own, but because God was by their side.

Another important point to take note of is that though God was angry at mankind He took 100 years to take the final action. One might wonder why He put Noah through that long ordeal. I feel that it was so because He really wanted to save as many as possible. He gave this time for men and women to give up their wrongful ways and turn back to Him. But sadly that did not happen and only a small group of eight remained standing in the end. Now that same time has been given to us. So what are you going to do with it? How are you going to respond to His call?

Forgive and forget

(Image source: http://stickyjesus.com/)

For most part I find hearing and reading Aamir Khan's interviews a treat. In my opinion he comes across as someone whose actions are grounded in thought and do not have a hidden agenda. Many celebrities, mostly from the Hindi film world, have on the Koffee with Karan show said a lot of scandalous things on the pretext of jest. So I wondered how Aamir Khan would fare in comparison.

After watching today's episode if there was one thing that I took away from it, it was a statement the actor made very early on. He said that he is learning to be more forgiving. I was once again bowled over as in today's tit-for-tat world how many of us give any importance to the need to forgive.

For long if I got off on the wrong foot with somebody my immediate reaction was to close my heart to them. I have at times deliberately kept a distance from certain people based on past experiences, unwilling to give them a second chance. In my anger I have turned off the line of communication with a few. But in the last year or so I have come to realize that this is not how it should be.

One of the first prayers that I was asked to learn as a kid was what is called the Lord's prayer in the Bible. Among many things it asks God to,

"Forgive us our as sins as we forgive those who sin against us."

We must realise that however good we might think ourselves to be, we are nowhere spotless and clean. What right then we have to condemn somebody else? If God can forgive so many of our daily wrongdoings then should we not extend the same magnanimity to others? The above short and simple verse tells us that to receive God's grace we must ourselves be full of mercy and kindness.

It is of course possible that even after forgiving a person once, he/she might be responsible for causing you hurt again. Jesus Christ said not seven times, but seventy times seven we should forgive a brother who has grieved us. This is the kind of loving heart we must all have.

Finally I believe that forgiveness is incomplete if you do not let it go. Bringing up past mistakes in your mind only sprouts doubt against the person in question and you are likely to look at his/her actions and words with suspicion. So take out that notebook of records you are keeping and tear it apart and believe me you will feel much lighter, happier and peaceful than when you held all those grudges.

Trial and error (5): Fried chicken and French fries

Early this month my aunt came home visiting us for a few days. During that time my husband and I together cooked her some tasty South Indian food that we eat regularly. Of course we also took her around the neighbourhood and at the excuse of treating a guest we ourselves got to eat in our favourite restaurants.

When it comes to fast food we haven't been able to find the popular brands in our immediate vicinity. So knowing my husband's liking I set out to try KFC Fried Chicken and McDonald's French Fries in my very own kitchen as a weekend dinner.

How I did it?
I searched over blogs and youtube to find the right recipes for the two dishes. Some even claimed to reveal the hidden secret. Eventually I mixed up a couple of versions in tandem with the ingredients I had with me. So the following are the steps to follow:

For McDonald's French Fries

1. Peel the skins from 3 long (Russet) potatoes and cut them lengthwise, like typical shapes of fries. Soak them in water for 5 minutes to remove the starch.
2. In a deep dish bring water to boil and then blanch the potatoes in it for 5 min.
3. Drain the water and cool the potatoes in ice water to stop the cooking process.
4. Next dry the potatoes either on a paper napkins or a towel.
5. Place the potatoes in a dish, cover it and refrigerate for a couple of hours.
6. Bring them out just at the time of cooking. You do not need them to come to room temperature.
7. When the oil heats nicely deep fry the potatoes for a few minutes till they becomes slightly yellow in colour. Drain on paper towels to remove the excess oil.
8. For serving season with salt.

KFC Fried Chicken

1. Wash the skinned chicken (I used 9 drumsticks), drain the water and pat dry. Marinate in 3 tbsp ginger-garlic paste for 30 minutes.
2. To prepare bread crumbs dry 3 bread slices in an oven at 300 F for 15 minutes (if bread is fresh), turning them over every 5 minutes. Allow them to cool and blend in a mixer/processor to a coarse texture. Keep aside.
3. In a large flat dish mix together 1 cup all-purpose flour (maida in India), 2 tsp chilli powder, 2 tsp pepper powder, 1/2 tsp turmeric powder and 2 tsp salt. Then add the prepared bread crumbs to it and give it a mix.
4. In another large bowl whisk 1 egg and add 1/2 cup milk to it.
5. At the time of cooking first put the oil to heat.
6. While the oil heats, start coating the chicken legs by first dipping in the egg and milk mixture and then rolling it around in the dry flour-bread crumb mixture. Keep them aside in a plate.
7. To know the oil is ready add a little wet flour and see if it immediately rises to the top. When this happens fry the coated chicken pieces in batches. If they are not completely covered in oil then you will need to turn them around to let them cook from all sides.
8. Cook the chicken for 15 minutes to get the (slightly dark) brown colour (but not burnt) on the outside. 
9. Drain on paper towels to remove excess oil.
10. Serve with French fries on the side.

Notes on cooking technique.
Regarding the French fries, I think I blanched the potatoes for nearly 7-8 minutes and so they became softer than needed. So the 5 minutes time in the above recipe is just correct. Ideally one is supposed to pack the potatoes in air tight bags and freeze them to make them crunchier. But as I didn't have such bags and the right containers, I refrigerated them instead. Further, I only fried the potatoes for about 2 minutes as they were already quite cooked and so they didn't get that yellow. As an alternative one could perhaps add turmeric powder to bring out that colour.

      In my "research" I saw two types on recipes for fried chicken. One in which the skin was removed from the chicken and another in which it was kept intact. I happened to have both types of chicken legs. What I found was that keeping the skin on made the fried chicken more crunchier. For making the dry mixture I used 2 cups of all-purpose flour but with the same measure of spices as in the above recipe. As a result I needed to season the fried chicken with some extra salt on the top. Further, even after coating all the 9 chicken pieces I had half of the flour mixture remaining. So, the 1 cup of flour that I have mentioned in the steps is the right quantity to take.

      Though I made bread crumbs by myself, it was because I had forgotten to buy it from the supermarket. You could very well use the ready made ones and save some time. From what I have read if one were to also mix in some corn flakes along with the bread crumbs, it would make the fried chicken still crunchier. I definitely plan to make that addition in my next trial. Most recipes add garlic and onion powders into the flour. But as I didn't have either of the two I instead marinated the chicken in ginger-garlic paste. You could also add herbs like oregano and sage leaves if you have them in your kitchen cabinet.

My husband's verdict.
He loved the look of the fried chicken. Though he had the KFC taste in mind, he still liked it. He felt it would be nicer to have it during evenings instead of as a large dinner meal. As long as he thought it was a decent attempt it is encouraging enough to try it again.

Here is the photo resulting from all that frying heat:

Fried chicken and French fries

   

Satyamev Jayate (4): O ri chiraiya... song

O ri chiraiya, nanhi si chidiya

Angana mein phir aaja re

Andhiyara hai ghana

Aur lahu se sana

Kirno ke tinke, ambar se chun ke

Angana mein phir aaja re

Humne tujhpe hazaaron sitam hain kiye

Humne tujhpe jahaan bhar ke zulm kiye

Humne socha nahi, tu jo udh jaayegi

Ye zameen tere bin sooni reh jaayegi

Kiske dum pe sajega mera angana?

O ri chiraiya, meri chiraiya

Angana mein phir aaja re

Tere pankhon mein saare sitaare jadhu

Teri choonar dhanak satrangi bunu

Tere kaajal mein main, kaali raina bharu

Teri mehendi mein main, kachi dhoop malu

Tere naino sajaa doon naya sapna

O ri chiraiya, meri chiraiya

Angana mein phir aaja re...

The above song has been composed by Ram Sampath and written and sung by Swanand Kirkire. At the end of Episode 1 of Satyamev Jayate on female foeticide the two came on stage to perform it in front of the audience. Here I have translated the song in English and attempted to incorporate rhyming like in the Hindi version. In the lyrics chiraiya/chidiya or bird represents the girl child. So here goes...

O bird, little bird

To the courtyard return again

Darkness is deep

And with blood sullied

Twigs of sun rays, pick from the sky

To the courtyard return again

We have thousands of times caused you hurt

We have inflicted on you all injustices of the world

We never gave thought if you fly away

This earth without you will be left desolate

Who will then beautify my courtyard?

 

O bird, my bird

To the courtyard return again

Your wings I will, with all the stars decorate

Your stole with the seven coloured rainbow interlace

In your kohl I will, the black night pour

Your henna I will, with raw sunshine cover

In your eyes a new dream adorn

O bird, my bird

To the courtyard return again 

Satyamev Jayate (3): Episode 1 Daughters are Precious

(Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zitona/)

Like many I was eagerly looking forward to the telecast of the first episode of Satyamev Jayate on 6 May, 2012. However, being in Sweden meant that I would not be able to watch it the moment it premiered. Luckily an official channel on youtube and a site for the programme were launched so that I could at least see it the same day.

         The episode opened with Aamir Khan telling us viewers how his personal pride for our nation's progress is mingled with a sadness at the things that are severely lacking. He lets us know what Satyamev Jayate aims to do. Following this brief description we were taken into a studio filled with an audience.

Theme of the episode
Standing centre stage Aamir Khan as the host brought to our attention the special place we have for our mothers in our lives. The sacrifices she makes for our well being are not hidden from us. In India many are known to worship goddesses like Durga, Kaali and Saraswati whom they call Maa or mother. Despite this today mothers are being ill treated.

Stories
During the show we were introduced to Amisha Yagnik, Parveen Kaur and Mitu Khurana who each tell their awful stories.

        Amisha was made to undergo multiple abortions by her husband and in-laws whenever they found that she was carrying a female child in her womb. After some years of such struggle and much against their wishes when she did manage to deliver a baby girl, they took away the child from her to force her to give a divorce. Later with a lawyer's help Amisha got her daughter back and has since then been taking care of her.

        Parveen Kaur's husband wanted a son to carry forward his family name, but when that did not happen after a couple of attempts he one day assaulted her while she was sleeping. He bit her face and left it mutilated. The photos of the nose-less Parveen on a hospital bed silenced the audience.

        For those who were under the impression that such incidents happen only in villages or in poor and uneducated families, hearing Mitu Khurana's account was an eye opener. Mitu, a doctor married one from her profession. Her father-in-law was a professor of history, mother-in-law a vice principal of a school and of her two sister-in-laws one was a teacher and another a Ph.D. After an ultrasound revealed she was going to have twin girls they began torturing her to have an abortion. The effect was such that she was about to give up her life when her father came to her rescue and took her with him. However, after the two girls were prematurely born Mitu went back to live with her husband and in-laws only to find no help. Worse was to come when on the pretext of assisting Mitu, her mother-in-law pushed the cot carrying one of the babies down the stairs. Luckily the baby was securely tied and did not get hurt.

The cause
How female foeticide came to spread on such a large scale across the length and breadth of India was explained by Dr. Puneet Bedi, a consultant in obstetrics and gynaecology in New Delhi. He informed that in the 70s our country's problems were blamed on its large population. A scientific paper suggested that the population could be brought under control if the "unwanted girls" were selectively aborted as most families yearned to have a boy. A program was started in the government hospitals where women were encouraged to do so. The eventual easy availability of ultrasound to determine sex of the foetus and the large monetary returns abortions brought, turned it into a 2000-3000 crore (200-300 million) rupees business. Later as various organisations protested the program was stopped in the government hospitals, but it continued to thrive in the private sector.

In news
Next Aamir Khan talked with two Sahara Samay reporters Meena Sharma and Shripal Shaktawat from Jaipur who seven years back had carried out a sting operation which caught on camera 140 doctors from about 40 cities involved in the racket of killing the girl child. Video recordings of doctors promising that the girl will not be born alive and suggesting ways of covering up in case she is, like by throwing the baby in a river or burying it were shown. Yet with all the evidence none of them had been punished. Not only that all the cases (at the time of the episode) against the accused doctors were being considered separately and the hearings being held in different courts causing Meena and Shripal a lot of distress.

The effect
The episode highlighted that a direct effect of female foeticide is the large difference between the number of boys and girls. There are districts and towns with hordes of unmarried men which has led to more crimes such as buying and selling of girls, kidnappings and gang rapes. The women who are bought are treated badly at home and are not given any rights whatsoever. Sometimes they are forced to have sexual intercourse with all the unmarried men in the house.

Turning it around
During the episode Nawanshahr in Punjab was presented as a shining example of how a change can be brought about. The first issue that Mr. Krishnakumar took up when he joined as Deputy Commissioner of the district in 2005 was to correct the dwindling girls:boys sex ratio. To this end he held seminars and workshops for doctors and mid-wives, warning them of severe consequences lest they were found guilty. He got students and various institutes to join hands with him and organise rallies and street plays to raise awareness. A phone helpline was started to provide support to pregnant women and help them if they were being ill treated or forced to find the sex of her child. All these efforts led to a 71% increase in the sex ratio in 2011 compared to 2001.

Action
In the end of the episode Aamir Khan offered a simple solution to overcome the problem of female foeticide. He said that all of us as individuals come together to form a coherent strength. So all we need to do was to decide that from that moment onwards we will not be part of a society that kills the girl child and that we will not allow it at least within our families and friends.

My comments
For long daughters have been called paraaya dhan (not one's own money) in our country. The perception is that as she will eventually get married, the family she is born into is not her actual family. So it is the boy who takes forward the family name and when the parents grow old it is supposedly the son alone who can take care of them. Further, age old traditions of having to give a large dowry during a wedding and of only the son being able to perform the last rites in certain religions have led people to preferring a male heir.

Earlier we would often find stories in the newspapers of just born baby girls being dumped in the trash. But with medical technological advancements came the ease of sex determination and abortion. Though presently it is illegal in India to determine the sex of an unborn child, such practices still happen. As was told in the episode some doctors work in packages offering to find the sex of the foetus and aborting it if it is a girl.

Initially I was in shock when I heard Mitu Khurana's story as her husband and in-laws were highly educated. However, having given more thought to it since I saw the show I realised that education does not automatically give a person a conscience and nor does it stop him/her from sinning. After all aren't all the involved doctors educated? Isn't it the families with the means that offer a bribe and buy accomplices? A lot can happen and remain hidden behind the closed doors of palatial homes.

Sometimes we read or hear a lot about the wrongdoings taking place but do not register their significance. In this regard the sad and scary consequences of female foeticide were well brought out in the episode. Indeed it is definitely an issue that needs to be addressed. Clearly, its root lies in the negative mindsets of the society for a girl child. Perhaps that is why Aamir Khan's appeal for us to individually decide to put a stop to it within our personal circles makes perfect sense. Who else but us can better convince those around us? Let us not be afraid of or shy away from taking a stand.

--------------------------------------------
P.S.: For the O ri chiraiya... song that came at the end of the episode see my next post.

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani: What difference does it make?

Differences and commonalities in a relationship

In the recently released Hindi movie Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani Bunny (Ranbir Kapoor) and Naina (Deepika Padukone) have very different dreams for their lives. While Bunny wants to explore the world, Naina is perfectly happy with being in one place and living the daily grind with her family. Some time in the second half of the film each is trying to convince the other about their respective preferences. Putting a stop to the competition Bunny says the following line,

"Tu right nahi hai Naina, bus mujhse alag hai."

meaning

"You are not right Naina, just different from me".

I remember towards the end of the very first day that my (then yet to be) husband and I met, he introduced me to a close friend of his. We were happy to tell her how the two of us liked many of the same things. She very sweetly and wisely expounded that while it is good to have similar thinking with your spouse, what is more important is how you handle your differences.

Any relationship brings together two separate entities who have been raised distinctively and have had their fair share of unique experiences leading them to form personal views and beliefs. So it is definite that there would come many a moment when in spite of their deep love the couple will have a conflict of opinions. The issue in contest may be a complicated one or something really small. How does one then avoid squabbles in such a scenario?

I had read in an article that instead of attempting to change the other person, try to alter yourself. Eating the food, watching a movie, and wearing clothes of your spouse's liking every once in a while could help increase the common ground. Ordinarily we all like to get our own way, but it is not so bad to give in either. Furthermore, it is most important to submit happily and not out of anger or with frustration.

For the more big topics, just like Bunny and Naina, one could simply respect the opposing party's contrasting thoughts instead of trying to out do each other.

Trial and error (4): Potato cup frittata

I have to admit that though I have learnt to make quite a few dishes for the daily meals, I have been afraid to go beyond that. This is mainly because while the eating part is quick, cooking generally takes much longer. So when trying something new a build up is created which can be misleading like an expected blockbuster film which turns out to have gone all wrong. There have been quite a few occasions when this is exactly what has happened to me. The fact that I am an emotional cook makes it worse. If my pooris don't rise, chapatis are not soft or biryani is not perfect you will find tears dripping down my face.

The good thing about living in Providence is that unlike Uppsala in Sweden, we can get food home delivered. So there is something to fall back on. Not that being forced to do this will make me feel any better. So with a little trepidation I decided to step out of the snack zone to dinner service. However, as always I chose a recipe that would be easy to deliver and would have an appearance and a taste that I could recognize to know for sure of its success or failure.

For the Christmas lunch one of the dishes that my landlady had made was the frittata. In the first Masterchef USA mystery box challenge the contestants were asked to cook something stunning using an egg. A frittata made it to the top three. As I searched over the internet I found that this is really an Italian omelette which makes use of all kinds of filling ingredients like potatoes, spinach, broccoli, zuchini, bacon and ham but obviously not all at the same time. It may be cooked on the stove or in the oven. You can serve it as a breakfast, lunch or dinner along with a salad.

How I did it?
I was all set to make a traditional frittata (like a big pizza circle) on Saturday night when I found a different way of cooking it inside small potato cups as shown by Averagebetty (click to see recipe). I used sautéed onions and green capsicum with coriander leaves but avoided the dressing up with the baby tomatoes. I also refrained from adding cumin powder and fresh cream.

        Finally I served the frittats with a classic salad in drizzled with vinegar and a cheesy pasta. The latter was bought from the market as I was not sure if the frittatas on their own would be filling for tummies used to heavy Indian dinners.

Notes on cooking technique.
Though I drained the potato shreds of water I found that still some remained at the end. I am not sure if this caused any adverse affect. I spread them around the muffin cups with fingers more easily than a spoon. I perhaps used more shreds than were necessary as the base seemed to remain soft.

         The video showed a green chilli paste being added to the egg mix. I used two chillies to make a paste but as it did not become as fine as I wanted, I added some water to get the chilliness into it. I then drained off the chilli bits and used the water to spice up the egg mix.

          When filling the potato cups with the egg mix it looked like there were too many veggies and little of the egg itself. But on baking the frittatas rose and the combination came out right. For removing the frittatas I slid a knife around in a circle. But because the muffin tray was not non-stick some of the potato shreds on the base did not come out. At the same time it wasn't much of a struggle or cause for frustration.

My husband's verdict.
He was very happy with the end result so much so that he made me give some to the other two residents of our building, one of them being our landlady who was the inspiration behind trying the frittata recipe in the first place.

Here is the photo of the dinner plate. Enjoy!

Potato cup frittatas for dinner

A capable woman

(Images taken from http://www.flickr.com/photos/85934826@N00 and http://www.flickr.com/photos/kittykaht)

It was thirteen years ago that we lost Mummy. As I write these lines I am amazed that such a long time has gone by. Yet the memories of her face, the sound of her voice, her demeanour, and everything that she did are as fresh as ever.

Daddy always thought that she truly embodied all the characteristics of a sadgunee stree or a virtuous woman as described in verses 10-30 of Proverbs, Chapter 31. Indeed I don't remember Mummy ever complaining in front of us about all her responsibilities. She was always very giving and loving. She made every effort to make our future better.  Her thoughts were always centred on us and not on her own self. She bore all her illnesses with immense strength, will power and patience. Most of all she had tremendous faith in God.

While growing up time and again Daddy would have us two sisters calculate the number of chapatis (see photos) that Mummy cooked for all of us daily. Assuming a rate of 24 per day the total came to a staggering 87,600 for say a period of 10 years. These statistics always helped us realize the kind of hard work she put in and made us instantly appreciate her.

I have to have to admit that I have especially missed her since getting married. There is so much I could have learnt from her "woman to woman". Not having her around, I take refuge these days in the same words of Proverbs when I feel out of depth or get doubts about what should I be doing. Here they are for you to contemplate on:


10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Trial and error (3): Crispy rice balls

Quite a few months back we had bought some rice flour to make idiyappams at home. In simple words these are steamed rice noodles. When in Chennai we normally have them with chicken kurma which has a coconut gravy as a base. Unfortunately in our maiden attempt both the batter and the instrument for pressing out the noodles gave us trouble. After this colossal failure the rice flour was relegated to a not easily visible corner.

Now that I am back on my cooking track, I thought of looking for recipes that put to use rice flour and Crispy rice balls came to my rescue.

How I did it?
I simply followed Tarla Dalal's directions given on the link. I used 1/2 cup water for about 2 cups of rice. I did not double the quantity of rice flour from 1/2 to 1 cup as it was a bit coarse in texture. I added about 1/2 tsp of chilli powder though it wasn't mentioned in the recipe.

Notes on the cooking technique.
As I read the method for making the rice balls I realized that my mother used to make something similar except it was with only onions, using soaked bread slices instead of rice flour, making cylindrical shapes and not balls and shallow frying versus deep frying. But as the whole point was to use rice flour I decided to follow Tarla Dalal.

       From my end I kneaded the mixture well so that the rice grains were no longer separate but got meshed. I found that deep frying allowed the rice balls to be evenly browned from all around. According to a reviewer of the recipe it is the rice flour which gives the crispiness.

My husband's verdict.
To my great relief he liked them. It tickled me when my husband thought that they were made from potatoes. What delighted me more was when he was willing to have them again with tea.

Here is the photo of the Crispy rice balls. 

Crispy rice balls made at home

Heavy laden

(Image adapted from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/carsten_tb/)

Reading the news of the young 25 year old Indian actress Jiah Khan committing suicide shocked me. As the details came out, it was revealed that she was going through a difficult time in her professional as well as personal life. Some reports claim that she was unhappy, frustrated and depressed leading Jiah Khan to take this extreme step. Her sister on the other hand says it was a decision made on the spur of the moment. Whatever the real reason may be, a soul has been lost.

The fact is that life is not easy. You may make a hundredfold plans only to find them crumbling. The path that once looked straight could suddenly diverge. The bright morning that was seemingly beautiful happens to turn cloudy and dull by afternoon.

It is important to realize that everybody goes through periods of struggle. For some the hardships can stretch for a longer duration than expected. The disappointments can be heartbreaking and the insensitive remarks you hear from those around you blood curdling. Indeed it might seem too much to bear.

To those who are heavy laden and finding it impossible to carry on, might I suggest that you take a moment and remember the persecution Jesus Christ faced and His crucifixion (Mathew Chapter 27, Mark Chapter 15, or Luke Chapter 23). How agonizing must have been the insults hurled at Him, the blows that He received, the scourging of His body by the soldiers, the crown of thorns that was forcefully fitted on His head, and the final nailing on to the cross. Even more so, how burdened He must have felt under the weight of the collective sins of the world. In comparison aren't your problems small and pain much less? 

It may appear that God is not answering your prayers. But once you start listing you will realize that though He might not be giving you all that your heart desires, He surely is providing you with all you need. So be patient and let not your faith waver. When distressed, just as Jesus Christ did in Luke Chapter 22, ask the Lord:

42 Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; 
yet not my will, but yours be done."

Trial and error (2): Broccoli cutlets

I started the year with the aim of learning a new dish every month (see post). But one early February morning I cut my finger with a knife quite badly and ended up getting a couple of stitches. So that kept me out of the kitchen for a while. Then since my recovery my husband and I have been having friends over at home for lunches or dinners rather frequently. As a result I never went beyond my first attempt. However, watching the new season of Master Chef USA got me excited enough to look at recipes.

For me one of the most daunting tasks is to find some nice thing to munch with our evening tea. All you find in the food stores in Providence are cookies, potato chips and under salted nuts. The shop where we get all the Indian goodies is really far from home and so we go there once a month. The chivdas that we buy however, get consumed within a week to a fortnight. Then there are times when one is in a mood for hot stuff and I end up making onion bhajjis or pakoras. Looking for another alternative I came across the recipe of Broccoli fritters cutlets.

How I did it?
Yesterday evening I tried the one outlined by  Mehan's Kitchen. You can find from the link that cooking them requires very few ingredients and the process is also really easy. Like the author I used besan or chick pea flour, but instead of cheddar cheese I added mozzarella cheese.

Notes on cooking technique.
I found that the final mixture was not dry and somewhat wet. So I used a tablespoon to spread the batter directly on the hot pan as making the cutlets beforehand would have been messy. The good part is the cheese did not melt and spill out.

My husband's verdict.
He thought that the Broccoli cutlets came out well. They were crispy from the outside and soft from the inside.

In all Broccoli cutlets can be considered as a good tea time snack which do not require much cooking time or effort. Hope the photo below entices you to give them a try:

Snacking on Broccoli cutlets

By ourselves

(Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/inaction)

Today while reading Chapter 4 in 1 Corinthians I came across the following verse:

7 ... And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?

It made me ponder over some of my own actions. Specially when I am in cribbing mode I tend to put myself on a higher pedestal. A lot of my thoughts then have me at the focal point. I start listing in my mind what are all the good things "I" have done and am continually doing, laying all the credit on my own shoulders.

The above verse served to remind me that this is wrong on my part. Irrespective of my mood I shouldn't forget that whatever I have is really by His grace:


From the certificates that I got in school to the exams I passed. 
From the home I live in to the world that I have explored. 
From the progress at work to the fun I have daily.
From the fellowship of my friends to my wonderful family.
From the mental toughness when needed to the softness of my heart. 
From the spirit that stirs me to the words that then pour out.
From the patience to go on to the strengthening of my belief. 
From the love of my life to the kindnesses I receive.


I feel most of the time our ambitions are driven by our desire for achieving success, fame, and fortune or for proving others wrong and showing what mettle we have. Perhaps that is why (as was pointed out in this Sunday's sermon by our pastor) we are habituated to find what we need by looking inside when we should be looking up to God. I am realizing that we need to humble ourselves whether hail or sunshine. It is important we recognize to Whom the praise is really due.

Do not be judgemental

(Image adapted from http://www.flickr.com/photos/cheesyfeet)

It was quite a while back that I saw the Hindi movie English Vinglish but I still clearly recall being moved by the speech that Shashi (Sridevi) makes at the wedding in the end. She tells in her sweet demeanour the newly married couple to not be judgemental of each other. I feel this piece of advice is to be followed by every one of us, not only in our relationships but also in the way we simply see the people in our vicinity when we travel, drive to the market or go for a jog.

John chapter 7, verse 24 says that we should "not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgement." Unfortunately this rarely happens. We are prone to jump to conclusions based on our predetermined mindsets formulated through the news we hear or on beliefs passed down generations. Imtiaz Ali's Hindi film Cocktail for instance is most clichéd in its characterization. The girl who parties, drinks, is in and out of relationships and has uncaring parents is named Veronica. While the girl who is shy, prays, and cooks and cleans is named Meera.

A sad case in point is of Brown University's student Sunil Tripathi who went missing about a month back. When the yet to be identified hazy photos of the recent Boston Marathon bombers were released by the authorities, somebody's comment on how Sunil bore a likeness to one of the pictures led to a chain of posts on a website discussing whether he could be one of them. Many others got on to the bandwagon and some believing him to be guilty even went on to hurl abuses on the facebook page that Sunil's parents had created in a bid to reach out to him. Eventually the truth came out but in that short span much pain and anguish was caused to the family. Worse was to come when some days later Sunil's body was recovered and he was found dead. I wonder what made it so easy for these accusers to pronounce their verdict and what are their thoughts now.

In the New Testament there is a story of how once a crowd had gathered around a sinful woman to throw stones at her as a punishment. When Jesus saw this He asked that the person who has never committed a sin should be the first one to throw the stone. But as there was nobody sinless, soon the woman was left alone. Even today it is no different. We might be "not bad" but that does not mean we are without a single blemish.

The Bible tells very clearly what happens when we judge others and how we really have no right to do so. The following words in Mathew, chapter 7 guide us in this regard:

1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 
2 For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 
4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

My first teaching experience

(Image adapted from http://www.ryerson.ca)

I decided a long time back I wanted to be in research. But a big question has been that given a choice where would I like to pursue it - in industry or academics? Though the second option has always seemed more attractive in many respects, it has also appeared daunting primarily due to my inexperience at teaching and the high expectations that I hold from those who teach.

Having carried out my Ph.D. at a national research laboratory in India,  as opposed to a university, I was not required to do any teaching assistantship. During my postdoctoral research at Uppsala University, Sweden too it was a similar situation. However, before my tenure ended I managed to take a month long Teacher's Training Course (TTC) which turned out to be particularly useful for a newbie like me.

Quite early on we had a practical session in which every participant was video recorded for a couple of minutes while giving a talk designed for teaching a class. At the end the videos were shown to us and constructive criticisms were meted out by the group and our instructor. Mostly the comments were positive and everybody thought that I engaged the audience and communicated well which surprised them as I am not the most talkative person. I too noticed this comfort level through the video which to a small extent dispelled my fears.

As a final assignment each participant got to be mentored by a professor in their department. One of the suggestions I was given was to somehow get myself involved in teaching by for instance, self-designing and giving a short course. So after I joined Brown University I proposed to give a series of Electronic Structure Theory lectures in our group. With my supervisor's approval a special time and day was reserved for these classes.

I remember reading on FemaleScienceProfessor that the initial years of teaching are not easy. It takes a while to get the flow, guess what questions students might ask, identify your strengths and weaknesses, and hone yourself. Indeed moments before I was to teach the first time I was a bit jittery. But as days progressed I felt relaxed. I gave seven lectures in total. A couple of them didn't go as distinctly well as I had wanted to. When that would happen I would try to make up for it in the next lecture and go over the points that I felt I hadn't conveyed properly enough. As our group is a mix of undergrads, grads and postdocs with differing backgrounds in engineering and chemistry there was never a lecture when I wasn't asked a question. I took this positively as a sign that they were being attentive and taking the lecture series seriously.

To be honest, I did put in a lot of effort. The classes that were given using the blackboard were backed up by providing lecture notes. On other occasions I gave presentations and sent them out only after the lecture was over. Being Electronic Structure Theory this needed typing numerous equations and checking that all notations were consistent. I am sure that this will hold me in good stead in the future. It could definitely be a decent starting point for a longer course.

This entire process gave me an idea of what it would really be like to teach. It has instilled in me a certain confidence that I lacked earlier. I also realised how rewarding it could be when one of the undergrads said that he felt inspired to take a quantum mechanics course in the next semester at the university. :)

Who's bad?

(Photo source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mugley)

Has there ever been a time we have read the news and not come out shaking our heads wondering at all the terrible things happening around us? It doesn't need much to feel rage against corrupt ministers, terrorists, rapists, murderers, and cheats and for us to ask loudly "how could they?". In comparison we believe ourselves to be not that bad and deserving of a clean chit. The sermon I heard on Sunday, however, set the record straight.

I had written in my last post that in God's eyes our sins have more weight than our good acts. Adding to that, based on what I understood, what we might not give credence to could actually be of grave importance in His book.

For instance,

Stinginess. Not having a heart big enough to share or help. 
Anger. Venting out in frustration, calling someone names and saying hurtful things.
Lying. Not being courageous enough to accept your mistakes.
Unforgiving. Keeping grudges and being unwilling to make peace.
Gluttony. Acquiring more and more.
Lusting. Looking where your eyes shouldn't venture.
Pride. Believing that you can achieve everything on your own and not through God.
Grumbling. Complaining about the deficiencies in your life: food, money, house, riches...

The way the world has become we have begun believing that it is alright to look out for your own self alone, to shout at your juniors or be rude to them to get work done, to throw people under the bus (figuratively) to get ahead at work, to take revenge on anyone who has been mean to you, to flaunt it if you've got it, to watch porn, to be flowing with self-confidence, and to point out if something is lacking. These acts are so commonplace that we sometimes don't even think twice before doing them. As long as we are not committing a heinous crime we feel worthy of a place in heaven. We forget that the decision regarding our suitableness is not in our hands. It is written in the Bible that on the day of judgement,


36 "every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof..." (Matthew, chapter 12)

and that

17 "there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open." (Luke, chapter 8)


The above words do not leave much room for us to even wriggle ourselves in through the gate. Surely we need to contemplate over the way we go about carrying out our daily duties and question our goodness quotient. It is time we searched ourselves and identified the bad therein.

Good over bad

I guess most of us have encountered people who have been extremely nice to us a number of times but have also caused hurt on a few rare occasions. However, have you ever felt the latter overpower the former in your mind so much so that it becomes difficult to look at this person with the same affection you had before? Recently I have been unable to put aside the bad parts and focus on the good in some instances, which disturbed me.

Much to my surprise I found during church service our pastor give a sermon along those very lines. From what he said it turns out that God is no different from me in this matter. In His eyes too our good deeds are lighter than our evil ones. So that if the world's greatest philanthropist or missionary was to put all his hundreds or thousands of acts of kindnesses on one side of a balance, they would still weigh much less that the few sins he committed kept on the other side.

In the film Gandhi there is a scene (see video here) in which when a Hindu man confesses to have killed an innocent Muslim child during the India-Pakistan partition riots in revenge for the Muslims killing his son, Bapu tells him that as a way out of hell he should adopt a Muslim orphan as his own son but raise him as a Muslim and not a Hindu. However, I have come to learn we can't escape the consequences of our actions by such a "making up" scheme. You can't play dirty tricks and keep worshipping God simultaneously in the hope that He will  not punish you for those very devious acts.

Indeed it takes a lot to gain another's love and respect, but little to lose it. In the mathematics of life, both the transcendental one here on earth and the eternal one to come, the pluses don't simply cancel out the minuses. 


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Image adapted from http://icons.iconarchive.com

Barfi! - how to be in a relationship

Barfi! is a Hindi film that released in 2012. Directed by Anurag Basu, it is the story of a deaf and mute boy, played by Ranbir Kapoor, who because of his speech difficulties ends up introducing himself as Barfi (an Indian sweet) instead of his actual name Murphy. The film for most part is in flashback with different people recalling their encounters with Barfi. This narrative unfolds the series of events leading to the loving relationship that he develops with an autistic girl, Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra).

Something that I remembered long after watching the movie was the manner in which Barfi tried to test whether those he loved would leave him. He would cut the wooden pole of a street lamp, then stand a fair certain distance in front of it hand in hand with the person in question, and wait for the lamp to fall in their direction. Only Barfi knew that it was just the right amount of distance so that nobody would get hurt, but close enough to scare. To his great disappointment he found his friend and his first love Shruti leave his hand and move away on seeing the pole beginning to tilt. Later in the film when Jhilmil starts becoming an important part of his life, Barfi repeats the act with her to find that she does not even flinch and remains staunchly by his side.

In life it is when we are going through a rough patch that we need a show of support the most. If on one side the above scene tells us about what kind of person we should go for in a relationship, then on the other it exemplifies through the character of Jhilmil how we should ourselves strive to be. 

Giving a loving embrace, kind words of encouragement and a hand kept on hand might not do anything to change a difficult situation but it could help the person to carry forth longer. Instead of playing the blame game, every effort should be made to show the pride you have in them to boost their confidence. Read between the lines and the unsaid words. Keep aside your own worries and look instead through their eyes. 

If there is ever a time that calls for you to express your love then it is not Valentine's day, but when the going is bad.  

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Image (top) source: http://movies.ndtv.com

Jab Tak Hai Jaan - what's the deal?

For those who don't know Yash Chopra is an Indian film maker legendary for bringing heart tugging romances on celluloid. He passed away in October 2012 just weeks before his directorial venture titled Jab Tak Hai Jaan was slated to release. The audiences were already looking forward to the movie as he had taken over the reigns after a gap of eight years. His sudden demise increased the curiosity factor even more. People wanted to see how he had wielded his magic this last time round.

I finally got to watch Jab Tak Hai Jaan yesterday. I found that in true blue Yash Chopra style the film's story was a love triangle, its protagonists were genuinely good people, the two heroines were presented beautifully and the film was shot in some picturesque locations. In this post I am not going to review Jab Tak Hai Jaan more than this but write about one of its leading characters Meera played by actress Katrina Kaif.

Whenever Meera wants something in her life she prays to Jesus Christ and in return gives up something she likes. For instance, when she asks for a boy to not want her hand in marriage she decides on never wearing fur coats if it so happens. Her philosophy is that you will get as much as you will give. She tells the hero Samar (Shahrukh Khan) that if everyone keeps asking from God without giving back then how will He have enough good to divide amongst His people. According to Meera to get something you have to lose something.

I could not help but disagree with a large part of Meera's thinking. To begin with you do not make deals with God when praying. He does not answer our prayers because we have promised to be good in return but because we already are living our lives according to His will. In the Bible the book of 1 John in chapter 3 verse 22 says:

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

It is then of course right to be giving like Meera does by helping the needy. However, such acts can only be meaningful when done from the heart and not out of fear or external force or desire for a reward in return. Further, we should not consider the giving back as a loss. After all whatever we have has come from Him.

In the case that we still make a bargain with the Lord then we should stick with our end of it even if He doesn't as a sign of our belief in Him. In the film Meera always receives what she asks for. Its never shown or mentioned that she gives up those things precious to her inspite of her prayers being unanswered. In fact as the story progresses and she ends up having to forgo her love as a promise to God for saving his life, disillusioned she stops her practice which had worked until then in her favour.

I feel instead of making such "deals" we should simply ask with faith. We should put all our worries to Him and have confidence that He will hear us. Most importantly we should approach Him with a repentant heart and thanksgiving. Apart from asking for forgiveness we should also forgive those who have hurt us. We should not remember God only when things go bad. We should daily praise Him for all that He has given us undeserving as we are with all our faults.


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Image (top) source: http://yashrajfilms.com

Satyamev Jayate (2): title song and changing in love

Continuing from where I left last time on Satyamev Jayate, I now shift your focus to its title song (see above video). From what I have read and heard, Aamir Khan's simple brief to lyricist Prasoon Joshi was to write a romantic love song for the country and he in turn did a wonderful job based on this minimum instruction.

The part of the song which made me introspect goes:

Jaisa bhi hoon apna mujhe, mujhe ye nahi hai bolna
Qaabil tere main ban sakoon, mujhe dwar aisa kholna

These lines imply:

Accept me as I am, I do not want to say
That I may become worthy of you, I want to find that way

One worry that we all have in any relationship is to be rejected for who we are. We want our friends and family to accept us with our package of the good and the bad. That is why when somebody is critical, often our instant reaction is to become defensive in order to prove ourselves right. We get upset at their trying to change us and refuse to comply to their needs.

This resistance is questioned by the above words of the song. After all when in love shouldn't we do everything to make this other person happy? Shouldn't we want ourselves to be befitting of him/her? If this entails filling out our flaws, smoothening our rough edges and altering our ways then shouldn't it be so? Shouldn't we be doing this gladly instead of grudgingly?

For once we should ask ourselves that isn't our loved one deserving of these efforts from our part.
 

Satyamev Jayate (1): the initial euphoria

Last year on 6 May, 2012 popular Indian film actor Aamir Khan made his debut on television with the show Satyamev Jayate (Truth only triumphs). Though it has been a long time since the season ended I still feel inclined to talk about it in a series of posts. For those unaware, each episode of Satyamev Jayate dealt with an important social issue plaguing India. However, some could even be happening in other parts of the world for you to identify with.

This particular post is about the events preceding the show's premiere.

Aamir Khan is known to do his films selectively. Most years we get to see him once a year on the big screen and some times not even that. The fact that he would be making an appearance for 13 weeks in a row was enough to excite fans like me. In relation to the show a specially composed love song for the country was released in movie theatres. The short teasers gave us a peek into the thought processes behind the programme's conception. The Hindi tag line "dil pe lagegi tabhi baat banegi" meaning when it hurts the heart only then will it resonate left everybody in no doubt that Satyamev Jayate wasn't going to be a regular fare.

When the unusual time slot of Sunday morning 11 o' clock was chosen to air the show, it created further debate. People's lifestyles have changed a lot in the last few years. With their busy schedules on weekdays, Sunday is the day to catch on sleep and go out for movies and shopping. In this scenario hoping that people would specially take time out for watching Satyamev Jayate in the manner we used to in the bygone era for serials like Mahabharat, Chanakya and Chandrakanta could be considered as being naive. In reality it was a well thought out and bold move.

In an interview that I saw on television Aamir Khan revealed his strategy. Choosing a non-prime time meant no competition. If everything went well there would be no flipping of channels. Secondly the viewers would not have to sacrifice any of their favorite soaps in order to hook to the new show. So he would get their undivided attention, a must for a show like this.

There was also some criticism that came his way when large sums were spent on promoting Satyamev Jayate on a wide scale. In the same interview Aamir Khan gave an interesting analogy in reply. He said marketing is like one wanting to tell an exciting story to a room full of partying people. You then create an atmosphere where everybody just has ears for you. For instance, you make the music stop, clap your hands to direct them towards you and then tell your story. Of course on the flip side your story may fall flat on its face if its not good enough. 

In addition varied attempts were made to see that the show reached audience across the length of the nation. So for the first time two television channels (Star TV and Doordarshan) buried their competition to simultaneously broadcast Satyamev Jayate. Being sensitive to the viewers' preferred language, as not everybody in India is fluent in or even knows Hindi, Satyamev Jayate was telecast in different Indian languages: Marathi, Bengali, Malayalam, Tamil and Telugu on the local Star TV channels.

What I came to appreciate most about Aamir Khan, even before I saw any episode of Satyamev Jayate, was his decision to not endorse any products during the period of those 13 weeks. From what I hear even now he is taking great care in choosing any advertising campaign. I have seen big names sell themselves too short, accepting everything coming their way. For instance, Amitabh Bachchan has endorsed a hair oil and Shahrukh Khan a fairness cream for men. So seeing Aamir Khan not try to make the most (earnings) of it was a revelation. He could have easily hosted a game show or a reality series which is what Star TV had approached him for. Instead he took up something that demanded a lot from him in terms of time, energy and resources. I feel just for that Aamir Khan deserves our respect and ovation.


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Image (top) adapted from www.satyamevjayate.in

Trial and error (1): Pan-fried lamb chops

One of the promises that I have listed to keep this year is to try out new recipes [Refer post 2]. To add a seriousness to it I have decided that on a minimum I will make one such attempt per month. Clearly I am no Julie Powell who completed the challenge of cooking all the 524 recipes from Julia Child's cookbook titled "Mastering the Art of French Cooking". While I admit I haven't read Julie Powell's book nor her famous blog where she wrote about her trials and errors, based on the movie Julie & Julia it looks like when she undertook the Julie/Julia Project she loved cooking and already had some skills in the kitchen. As I am not as much of a cooking enthusiast the low cap that I have self imposed can be forgiven. At the same time for having already begun on this journey so soon my determination should be applauded.

Wanting to start with an uncomplicated yet delicious recipe requiring little expertise, I chose Grilled Pan-fried lamb chops.

How I did it?
I followed Giada De Laurentis' recipe from foodnetwork.com but substituting thyme with mint leaves and adding juice of half of a lemon when making the marinade. For pan frying I used a little canola oil letting a tablespoon of butter melt into it before placing the lamb chops. I used shoulder lamb chops which are a bit harder. Since I wanted them well done, I cooked both sides of the chops for 10 min each. I served the chops with based potatoes and boiled peas with a dash of butter.

Notes on cooking technique.
My first comment on the final outcome is that I should have made either more portions of the chops or served an appetizer before, as one piece was not filling enough. Secondly, it turned out that in my first attempt I had employed a cooking time of 15 min on each side which was more than necessary and made the meat slightly firm. When I remade this dish a couple of days ago, based on directions given on ehow.com I first fried each side for 5-6 min. But I found that the meat remained undercooked. Frying each side additionally for 5 min on high flame made it just right. The meat was cooked through as well as slightly tender.

My husband's verdict.
His rating for the dish: 7/10 which for me equals "not bad". He was happy though I made an effort.

This is how the Pan-fried lamb chops came out looking:

Pan-fried lamb chops for dinner

Practices make perfect

Following our engagement ceremony in 2009, my then fiancé (now husband) and I were gifted by my cousin brother a book on 1001 Ways to Romance. One suggestion was that couples should keep certain traditions which they will be able to associate with themselves over a period of time. I could immediately identify with this.

For as long as I could remember I had seen my parents hold a Christmas party for family and friends. The preparations for it would begin nearly a month before. Sweets like cake, doughnuts, kulkuls, karanjees, and nariyal ladoos and salted ones like shev and namkeens would be made in large quantities and safely stored. This required my parents to work in tandem, side by side. As my sister and I grew up even we were involved in some of the activities. December brought us together in a manner like no other month did.

Up on getting married, my husband and I did not consciously set about to come up with a specific custom. It originated because of my own need for a cup of tea immediately after waking up. Though never a tea addict, my husband also gave in. Since then every morning I make two cups of tea and take along two sets of three Marie biscuits on a tray to the bed. As each sip refreshes us, we make plans for the day and recall things we'd missed out telling each other the night before. These 10-15 minutes of quiet togetherness before the rush starts, are a bliss. 

A simple practice it might be, but then it also connects us that simply.

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Image (top) adapted from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel

Anger management

I have always enjoyed watching mushy romantic Hindi movies. In so many of them the hero-heroine have a hate relationship to start with, which down the line gets transformed into undying love. Dialogues like "you only get angry with those who are dear to you" practically lead you to believe that fighting is a sign of love. This does hold not true for me at all. If anything then love should make you more understanding, patient and kind.

Disagreements and arguments stress you out and drain you. The cross words exchanged only cause hurt and get etched as memories hard to forget even years later by the two people involved in the altercation.

The reason fights sometimes snowball is because of both parties raising their voice in competition. If you are only interested in proving yourself right, how then will you be able to hear what the other person is trying to actually say?

The first verse in chapter 15 of the Proverbs in the Bible says:

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

When you keep your cool instead of immediately retaliating it gives you a chance to contemplate where the anger is really directed at. Is the infuriation at what you did wrong? Or is the ill-temper a front by the complainant for something gone awry elsewhere?

Controlling one's emotions is a tough act to carry out in such situations. What can perhaps help is the realisation that deep love really lies hidden behind those fights that didn’t happen because we didn’t let them happen.

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Image (top) adapted from http://www.velaction.com