Jab Tak Hai Jaan - what's the deal?

For those who don't know Yash Chopra is an Indian film maker legendary for bringing heart tugging romances on celluloid. He passed away in October 2012 just weeks before his directorial venture titled Jab Tak Hai Jaan was slated to release. The audiences were already looking forward to the movie as he had taken over the reigns after a gap of eight years. His sudden demise increased the curiosity factor even more. People wanted to see how he had wielded his magic this last time round.

I finally got to watch Jab Tak Hai Jaan yesterday. I found that in true blue Yash Chopra style the film's story was a love triangle, its protagonists were genuinely good people, the two heroines were presented beautifully and the film was shot in some picturesque locations. In this post I am not going to review Jab Tak Hai Jaan more than this but write about one of its leading characters Meera played by actress Katrina Kaif.

Whenever Meera wants something in her life she prays to Jesus Christ and in return gives up something she likes. For instance, when she asks for a boy to not want her hand in marriage she decides on never wearing fur coats if it so happens. Her philosophy is that you will get as much as you will give. She tells the hero Samar (Shahrukh Khan) that if everyone keeps asking from God without giving back then how will He have enough good to divide amongst His people. According to Meera to get something you have to lose something.

I could not help but disagree with a large part of Meera's thinking. To begin with you do not make deals with God when praying. He does not answer our prayers because we have promised to be good in return but because we already are living our lives according to His will. In the Bible the book of 1 John in chapter 3 verse 22 says:

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

It is then of course right to be giving like Meera does by helping the needy. However, such acts can only be meaningful when done from the heart and not out of fear or external force or desire for a reward in return. Further, we should not consider the giving back as a loss. After all whatever we have has come from Him.

In the case that we still make a bargain with the Lord then we should stick with our end of it even if He doesn't as a sign of our belief in Him. In the film Meera always receives what she asks for. Its never shown or mentioned that she gives up those things precious to her inspite of her prayers being unanswered. In fact as the story progresses and she ends up having to forgo her love as a promise to God for saving his life, disillusioned she stops her practice which had worked until then in her favour.

I feel instead of making such "deals" we should simply ask with faith. We should put all our worries to Him and have confidence that He will hear us. Most importantly we should approach Him with a repentant heart and thanksgiving. Apart from asking for forgiveness we should also forgive those who have hurt us. We should not remember God only when things go bad. We should daily praise Him for all that He has given us undeserving as we are with all our faults.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Image (top) source: http://yashrajfilms.com

Satyamev Jayate (2): title song and changing in love

Continuing from where I left last time on Satyamev Jayate, I now shift your focus to its title song (see above video). From what I have read and heard, Aamir Khan's simple brief to lyricist Prasoon Joshi was to write a romantic love song for the country and he in turn did a wonderful job based on this minimum instruction.

The part of the song which made me introspect goes:

Jaisa bhi hoon apna mujhe, mujhe ye nahi hai bolna
Qaabil tere main ban sakoon, mujhe dwar aisa kholna

These lines imply:

Accept me as I am, I do not want to say
That I may become worthy of you, I want to find that way

One worry that we all have in any relationship is to be rejected for who we are. We want our friends and family to accept us with our package of the good and the bad. That is why when somebody is critical, often our instant reaction is to become defensive in order to prove ourselves right. We get upset at their trying to change us and refuse to comply to their needs.

This resistance is questioned by the above words of the song. After all when in love shouldn't we do everything to make this other person happy? Shouldn't we want ourselves to be befitting of him/her? If this entails filling out our flaws, smoothening our rough edges and altering our ways then shouldn't it be so? Shouldn't we be doing this gladly instead of grudgingly?

For once we should ask ourselves that isn't our loved one deserving of these efforts from our part.
 

Satyamev Jayate (1): the initial euphoria

Last year on 6 May, 2012 popular Indian film actor Aamir Khan made his debut on television with the show Satyamev Jayate (Truth only triumphs). Though it has been a long time since the season ended I still feel inclined to talk about it in a series of posts. For those unaware, each episode of Satyamev Jayate dealt with an important social issue plaguing India. However, some could even be happening in other parts of the world for you to identify with.

This particular post is about the events preceding the show's premiere.

Aamir Khan is known to do his films selectively. Most years we get to see him once a year on the big screen and some times not even that. The fact that he would be making an appearance for 13 weeks in a row was enough to excite fans like me. In relation to the show a specially composed love song for the country was released in movie theatres. The short teasers gave us a peek into the thought processes behind the programme's conception. The Hindi tag line "dil pe lagegi tabhi baat banegi" meaning when it hurts the heart only then will it resonate left everybody in no doubt that Satyamev Jayate wasn't going to be a regular fare.

When the unusual time slot of Sunday morning 11 o' clock was chosen to air the show, it created further debate. People's lifestyles have changed a lot in the last few years. With their busy schedules on weekdays, Sunday is the day to catch on sleep and go out for movies and shopping. In this scenario hoping that people would specially take time out for watching Satyamev Jayate in the manner we used to in the bygone era for serials like Mahabharat, Chanakya and Chandrakanta could be considered as being naive. In reality it was a well thought out and bold move.

In an interview that I saw on television Aamir Khan revealed his strategy. Choosing a non-prime time meant no competition. If everything went well there would be no flipping of channels. Secondly the viewers would not have to sacrifice any of their favorite soaps in order to hook to the new show. So he would get their undivided attention, a must for a show like this.

There was also some criticism that came his way when large sums were spent on promoting Satyamev Jayate on a wide scale. In the same interview Aamir Khan gave an interesting analogy in reply. He said marketing is like one wanting to tell an exciting story to a room full of partying people. You then create an atmosphere where everybody just has ears for you. For instance, you make the music stop, clap your hands to direct them towards you and then tell your story. Of course on the flip side your story may fall flat on its face if its not good enough. 

In addition varied attempts were made to see that the show reached audience across the length of the nation. So for the first time two television channels (Star TV and Doordarshan) buried their competition to simultaneously broadcast Satyamev Jayate. Being sensitive to the viewers' preferred language, as not everybody in India is fluent in or even knows Hindi, Satyamev Jayate was telecast in different Indian languages: Marathi, Bengali, Malayalam, Tamil and Telugu on the local Star TV channels.

What I came to appreciate most about Aamir Khan, even before I saw any episode of Satyamev Jayate, was his decision to not endorse any products during the period of those 13 weeks. From what I hear even now he is taking great care in choosing any advertising campaign. I have seen big names sell themselves too short, accepting everything coming their way. For instance, Amitabh Bachchan has endorsed a hair oil and Shahrukh Khan a fairness cream for men. So seeing Aamir Khan not try to make the most (earnings) of it was a revelation. He could have easily hosted a game show or a reality series which is what Star TV had approached him for. Instead he took up something that demanded a lot from him in terms of time, energy and resources. I feel just for that Aamir Khan deserves our respect and ovation.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Image (top) adapted from www.satyamevjayate.in

Trial and error (1): Pan-fried lamb chops

One of the promises that I have listed to keep this year is to try out new recipes [Refer post 2]. To add a seriousness to it I have decided that on a minimum I will make one such attempt per month. Clearly I am no Julie Powell who completed the challenge of cooking all the 524 recipes from Julia Child's cookbook titled "Mastering the Art of French Cooking". While I admit I haven't read Julie Powell's book nor her famous blog where she wrote about her trials and errors, based on the movie Julie & Julia it looks like when she undertook the Julie/Julia Project she loved cooking and already had some skills in the kitchen. As I am not as much of a cooking enthusiast the low cap that I have self imposed can be forgiven. At the same time for having already begun on this journey so soon my determination should be applauded.

Wanting to start with an uncomplicated yet delicious recipe requiring little expertise, I chose Grilled Pan-fried lamb chops.

How I did it?
I followed Giada De Laurentis' recipe from foodnetwork.com but substituting thyme with mint leaves and adding juice of half of a lemon when making the marinade. For pan frying I used a little canola oil letting a tablespoon of butter melt into it before placing the lamb chops. I used shoulder lamb chops which are a bit harder. Since I wanted them well done, I cooked both sides of the chops for 10 min each. I served the chops with based potatoes and boiled peas with a dash of butter.

Notes on cooking technique.
My first comment on the final outcome is that I should have made either more portions of the chops or served an appetizer before, as one piece was not filling enough. Secondly, it turned out that in my first attempt I had employed a cooking time of 15 min on each side which was more than necessary and made the meat slightly firm. When I remade this dish a couple of days ago, based on directions given on ehow.com I first fried each side for 5-6 min. But I found that the meat remained undercooked. Frying each side additionally for 5 min on high flame made it just right. The meat was cooked through as well as slightly tender.

My husband's verdict.
His rating for the dish: 7/10 which for me equals "not bad". He was happy though I made an effort.

This is how the Pan-fried lamb chops came out looking:

Pan-fried lamb chops for dinner

Practices make perfect

Following our engagement ceremony in 2009, my then fiancé (now husband) and I were gifted by my cousin brother a book on 1001 Ways to Romance. One suggestion was that couples should keep certain traditions which they will be able to associate with themselves over a period of time. I could immediately identify with this.

For as long as I could remember I had seen my parents hold a Christmas party for family and friends. The preparations for it would begin nearly a month before. Sweets like cake, doughnuts, kulkuls, karanjees, and nariyal ladoos and salted ones like shev and namkeens would be made in large quantities and safely stored. This required my parents to work in tandem, side by side. As my sister and I grew up even we were involved in some of the activities. December brought us together in a manner like no other month did.

Up on getting married, my husband and I did not consciously set about to come up with a specific custom. It originated because of my own need for a cup of tea immediately after waking up. Though never a tea addict, my husband also gave in. Since then every morning I make two cups of tea and take along two sets of three Marie biscuits on a tray to the bed. As each sip refreshes us, we make plans for the day and recall things we'd missed out telling each other the night before. These 10-15 minutes of quiet togetherness before the rush starts, are a bliss. 

A simple practice it might be, but then it also connects us that simply.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Image (top) adapted from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel

Anger management

I have always enjoyed watching mushy romantic Hindi movies. In so many of them the hero-heroine have a hate relationship to start with, which down the line gets transformed into undying love. Dialogues like "you only get angry with those who are dear to you" practically lead you to believe that fighting is a sign of love. This does hold not true for me at all. If anything then love should make you more understanding, patient and kind.

Disagreements and arguments stress you out and drain you. The cross words exchanged only cause hurt and get etched as memories hard to forget even years later by the two people involved in the altercation.

The reason fights sometimes snowball is because of both parties raising their voice in competition. If you are only interested in proving yourself right, how then will you be able to hear what the other person is trying to actually say?

The first verse in chapter 15 of the Proverbs in the Bible says:

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

When you keep your cool instead of immediately retaliating it gives you a chance to contemplate where the anger is really directed at. Is the infuriation at what you did wrong? Or is the ill-temper a front by the complainant for something gone awry elsewhere?

Controlling one's emotions is a tough act to carry out in such situations. What can perhaps help is the realisation that deep love really lies hidden behind those fights that didn’t happen because we didn’t let them happen.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Image (top) adapted from http://www.velaction.com

Coming together in a marriage

One of my close friends got married last month. Unfortunately our living in two different countries now made it impossible for me to be there on this auspicious occasion. Nevertheless sitting continents apart I asked myself whether she was feeling the same way as I did over three years ago.

Whatever the type of marriage it might be - arranged or love and however long or little the couple might have known each other, the bride-to-be feels a mixed bag of emotions. Intermingled with all the excitement that shopping and celebrations in the preceeding months bring, is a profound sadness clutching the girl at having to leave the place she calls home and the parents who have always been there for her. Along with great joy at having finally found the one and getting to start a life with him, she also worries about the newness of it all.

From the bride's perspective it appears that in comparison things are easier for the groom. After all he doesn’t have to pack his bags. As per Indian tradition there is no bidaai (a hindi word meaning farewell) for him. The bride enters his household. I thought so too until the marriage counselling session we had as per church rules with our Pastor a few days prior to our wedding. At the very outset he read out verses 22-24 from Chapter 2 of the book of Genesis in the Bible, which say:

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The last verse tells that in a marriage the man is also parting ways with his parents to be with his wife to give rise to a new family. This made me realize that the changes and adjustments would also be demanded from my husband. The responsibility of having an additional person to take care of, besides themselves, went to both the parties with this union.

Understanding that when getting married I alone would not be taking the journey, but had company, removed my resentment and reduced my anxieties.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Image (top) adapted from http://travelguide-hamptonroads.com

Loss of humanity

Two horrific incidents occurred recently close on the heels of each other and both filled our hearts with sadness and made us cry out in anger.

In the first one Adam Lanza (aged 20) waged fire on 14 December, 2012 at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, US killing twenty first-graders who were only 6-7 years old. Adam shot some of his innocent victims multiple times. The school's Principal, its Psychologist and teachers who tried to come in the way to shield the students were not spared and in all six adults lost their lives. After the mass shooting Adam committed suicide by his own weapon. Prior to going to the school he had also killed his mother at home.

Two days later on 16 December, a young woman got inside a bus with her friend at 9.30 pm in New Delhi, India. Unknown to them the bus had onboard five other men who were friends of the driver. They brutally beat the male companion with an iron rod. Next they gang raped the girl and also used the same rod for violently penetrating her. All this while the bus moved through the lanes of Delhi passing unchecked by even police barricades because of the tinted windows and shut door. Once done with their deed the men threw out the two victims on the road. The victims were later found by a passerby and taken to the hospital. On gaining consciousness the girl gave her statement and asked for the culprits to be brought to justice. While her will to live was strong, her body gave up. The iron rod had done such bad damage that her intestines had to be removed. In a heavily criticised move on part of the Indian government, she was flown to Singapore for further treatment. But it proved futile as she died on 29 December, 2012.

The aftermath of the Sandy Hook Shooting had people demanding stronger gun control in US. An article in The Guardian published in July 2012 using the data from the Small Arms Survey 2007 ranks US number 1 in the world for civil gun ownership with a total 270, 000, 000 civil firearms and averaging a massive 88.8 firearms for every 100 people. 60% of the homicides that year were caused by firearms. These alarming figures are screaming the need to reduce the accessibility of guns which Adam Lanza clearly had. At the school premises the police recovered 3 firearms and a fourth one stashed in the shooter's car. In addition there were three more firearms found in his home.

A widely known secret is that election campaigns in US have large contributions flowing from the likes of National Rifle Association (NRA). The indebted elected representatives find themselves duty bound to a different set of people and therefore, skirt this important issue.

The Delhi gang rape has caused a widespread outrage in India. Men and women from all over the country belonging to different strata of lives came together in support of the victim and to protest against the system. The bravery that the girl showed in spite of the terrible torture meted out to her has shook everyone up. The Indian government has been forced to take a deeper look into its anti-rape law and a committee has been set up in this regard.

At this very moment various parts of our world are in a stage of unrest. Severe atrocities are being carried out in the name of war. Homes are being looted and the elderly killed. Unaffected by the current public debates kids are getting attracted to guns and in villages and cities alike girls are still being raped.

I often wonder what happens to people that they are led to commit heinous crimes. Are a bad childhood, a mental illness, poverty and lack of education good enough reasons to justify the perpetrators' turning out badly? What about their conscience - where does it disappear in those moments? How can somebody's gruesome torture give them pleasure? Can vengeance ever lead to peace?

As a silent audience we are also culpable. We have cushioned ourselves so well that we have forgotten how it is to feel. We need our hearts to pump more and must improve our memories so that what is news today does not fade away tomorrow. We can either continue to be cynical or choose to roll up ours sleeves and pull up our socks. If changes for the better are to be brought about then the masses need to shoulder their fare share of responsibility along with those holding positions of authority. Otherwise this sorry state of affairs shall continue with each such tragic story representing a piece of humanity lost.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Image (top) source: http://beta.photobucket.com